The 'Irish goodbye': Slipping away without saying farewell can be your kindest way out

It can be self-erasure, like you think your presence at the party didn’t matter. But sometimes, when you’ve used up all your sociability, slipping into the night unannounced is a good idea

Sometimes at the end of a party you're all talked out and don't have the energy for a round of hugs and farewells: An 'Irish goodbye', where you slip away into the night unnoticed, can be the kindest act of self-care. Picture: iStock

Whether you call it an Irish goodbye, French leave, or filer à l’anglaise (leave in the English style), as the French prefer, the act of quietly slipping out of a party without fanfare is a familiar social impulse. The Brazilians called it sair à francesa (French style) and the Germans a Polnischer Abgang (Polish departure).

Whatever name it goes by, the concept is the same: One moment you’re there, the next you’ve vanished into the night without a drawn-out round of explanations, hugs, and promises to catch up soon.