Suzanne Harrington: Have a happy remote St Patrick’s Day folks

Corona, corona, corona. You wouldn’t know whether to laugh, scream, or stockpile cyanide pills in case the mass outbreak of stupidity becomes too intolerable, no matter how much you self-isolate, writes Suzanne Harrington.

Corona, corona, corona. You wouldn’t know whether to laugh, scream, or stockpile cyanide pills in case the mass outbreak of stupidity becomes too intolerable, no matter how much you self-isolate.

No loo roll left in supermarkets — what are we going to do, mummify ourselves in three-ply? Stuff it in our head cavities to ward off airborne microbes? Build an Andrex fortress to hide inside?