Fianna Fáil’s election pitch smacks of desperation
VOTE Fianna Fáil: We’ll either be crying or lying after the election — but either way YOU lose!
Perhaps not the best slogan to head into a general election campaign with, but that, in essence, seems to be Fianna Fáil’s real pitch next time out.
In a novel battle plan, the soldiers of destiny have decided to fight on the platform that backing them in the polling booth guarantees you hand power to someone else and get to witness them wield it while you watch the next five years’ action from the sidelines.
Now, while the prediction of seat gains given by the party’s new director of elections Billy Kelleher is admirably honest — though to suggest anything higher than 35-ish seats at the election would have seen him laughed out of Leinster House — that’s when he really should have shown a bit more strategic savvy and stopped talking.
Because neither of the two options he suggested for Fianna Fáil’s future is particularly viable.
Mr Kelleher stated that the only way Fianna Fáil would probably be going into Government in the new year would be as leader of a coalition.
Now, while that is a lovely little FF fairytale for him to cling to this Christmas as he writes out his political wish list, it is just not going to happen.
The very maximum Fianna Fáil are likely to come back with on their best possible election day is 40 seats, which leaves a shortfall of a mere 39 extra Dáil votes to make Micheál Martin Taoiseach.
As Fine Gael will likely land in the low 50s, and FF has ruled out any kind of Sinn Féin deal, that leaves Labour as their only mainstream partners.
Putting aside Tánaiste Joan Burton’s weirdly surrealist performance in the Dáil when, to desperately distract attention from her shameful betrayal of renters and mortgage holders, she told the FF frontbench to “shut up” before posing the wonderfully Dadaist question to the party’s environment spokesman, Barry Cowen: “Are you just a baby, or acting like a baby?”, Labour was never going to provide the lifeboat needed to lift them out of hostile political waters.
This is because Labour are further up that proverbial creek of self-created pollution than even Fianna Fáil — and long ago gave away their paddle to Enda Kenny in return for little more than a pat on the head and a few shiny beans.
So, Labour will be lucky to get back with double figures in the next Dáil. Which means even if they did want to break their Stockholm syndrome relationship with their austerity-loving Tory political hostage takers, Fine Gael — which they do not — on the best possible showing an FF/Labour proposition would still need 29 independents, or members of minor political vanity parties (hello, Lucinda!) to make it over the line.
And, again, that is just not going to happen.
All of which means if you vote for Fianna Fáil you are voting for nothing - well, nothing but five years of impotently muttering “don’t blame me” as someone else’s vote calls the shots.
Indeed, Mr Kelleher has come up with an interesting new twist on Big Phil Hogan’s plea that Fianna Fáilers lend Fine Gael their vote in 2011.
Now, official party policy states Fianna Fáilers do not have to go to the bother of lending their vote to anyone, they can just waste it at home by voting for Kelleher & Co.
Brilliant!
Ironically, Mr Kelleher has managed to produce, probably, the best health policy which will appear on the electoral table in 2016, given FG’s raising of the white flag over our hospitals as they surrender wards to incompetence and chaos.
Yet, by his own admission, that policy can never realistically be put into place because FF is apparently resigned already to opposition.
This is the only conclusion to be drawn from its arrogant refusal to consider any kind of hook-up with Fine Gael, and it’s rather more pragmatic stance on not doing a deal with Sinn Féin.
But in doing so, Fianna Fáil has just handed Sinn Fein, and it’s seeming president for life, Gerry “army council? What army council?” Adams, a welcome boost after their sluggish poll performance of recent months.
Sinn Féin can now quite rightly claim that they are the only opposition alternative as Fianna Fáil have left the field open for the Shinners and their Disney-economics where the magic wealth tax will pay for everything with the wealthy, magically, not abandoning the country with their cash before Adams and the boys can get their hands on it.
Unless of course Fianna Fáil are lying, and will go into Coalition with anyone as soon as they get a sniff of the leather seats in the back of the ministerial Mercs again, that is.
But Fianna Fáil would never lie to us, would they? Well, apart from that time FF denied knowing anything about the troika turning up to occupy the country as a foreign power even though Brian Cowen had just surrendered the economic sovereignty of the nation to them.
Oh, and that time Bertie Ahern was shamed as the first Taoiseach in the history of the State whose evidence before a tribunal of inquiry was found to be unbelievable, despite Micheál and his mates backing him to the hilt as he bleated on about winning all that dosh on the gee-gees.
Oh, and that time when... well, you get the picture, Fianna Fáil don’t have the best record when it comes to telling the truth.
Interestingly, despite getting to the dizzy heights of 35, it is likely FF will only gain two seats in one constituency — Cork South Central — and the winners there, Mr Martin and finance spokesman, Michael McGrath, may well secretly wish the other had lost.
Because if Martin loses, McGrath will not need to lead a heave against him, and if McGrath goes down, Martin will face one less challenger after the election the party seems to be already planning on giving away.
Perhaps the whole bizarre situation was unintentionally summed-up best by FF front bencher Robert Troy, who, commenting on matters unknown, was picked up by Dáil microphones, sighing: “Fucking desperate.”
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