I thought breathing exercises were only for during childbirth

I made an exception to my “no guests” rule and agreed to share the house for two weeks with a loved one whose family are headed off on holiday. This may turn out to be a serious error, writes Terry Prone.

The anxiety dreams started immediately. In the first one, I got found out as not having Garda clearance, which, let’s be upfront about it, I don’t. In the second one, the guest was looking at me in silent reproach because I had offered him a favourite old paperback, Angus Wilson, to read, and he’s clearly way too straight to enjoy it.

Since the guest is a golden retriever, you can see, from the irrelevance of these nightmares, how nervous I am. It’s not that he’s a big dog, although he is big enough to compete in the Shetland Pony section of the Dublin Horse Show.