“Vexation is coming off me in convection currents”

IT’S 11 pm, and my husband and I are in bed.

“England are 2 nil up in the Ashes but I’d say Australia will probably win tomorrow,” he yawns, rolling over. I let a vexed air fill the room; if my life was a film, I think, its title would be ‘Tinnitus: One Woman’s Story,’ and the musical soundtrack would be, ‘25 Days of Cricket Play Spread Over a 10 Week Period,’ by commentators Agnew and Boycott.

I’m going to impose a new rule on my marriage besides ‘Pick up Your Own Bloody Socks,’ I decide, reaching for my book.