“Apparently, 21 is the perfect age for childbirth”

MY FRIEND’S daughter is expecting her first baby and talking about childbirth at my kitchen table, in a manner which is best described by the words, “unsuspecting” and “credulous”.

She’s five months shy of her 21st birthday — and due-date. “Apparently, 21 is the perfect age for childbirth,” I say. “Really?” she says, looking at me as if I’m an oracle.

I explain that this is exactly the statement my midwife made to me many years ago, when I was 21 and in labour for the first time. But I don’t reveal the specific context — my sudden, mulish refusal to push in the final hour — in which my midwife made it. Or mention that my midwife then reiterated the statement for greater emphasis, and said, “THEREFORE, you can STOP messing about young lady, and start PUSHING your baby out, RIGHT NOW.”