Fighting loneliness - A human solution to a human loss

THERE are few conditions that eat at the human heart and mind like loneliness.

Few gnaw at the sense of purpose, ambition and self worth that shape our humanity like isolation and the absence of the sounds, society and support of family, friends or neighbours.

There are, or will be, few things as challenging as facing tomorrow without the comradeship and reliability of a life-long partner who has died, yet half of us will probably have to face life after the death of a loved spouse or partner. That is how life and death inevitably unfold. Life’s natural cycle, especially towards its end, brings more than enough challenges and the prospect of isolation, whether you live in the countryside or in a town or a city, is daunting.

When a person lives in a remote area, when the access to transport — independence — that most of us take for granted no longer exists because of age or economics, then loneliness is a very real possibility.

Though urban loneliness can be as emptying as anything experienced in rural communities the very remoteness of the many lives, especially single countrymen moving towards the later stages of life, can be especially poignant.

Today — and yesterday — we detailed some of the ways social changes have contributed to isolating people in rural Ireland. Some of these changes are equally relevant in urban settings.

De-population has driven huge change. Post offices, traditionally a reliable centre for social contact, have closed right across the country and many more may close if An Post is not awarded social welfare contracts which are due to be renewed next year.

Garda stations have closed and more are expected to, adding to a sense of abandonment for many communities.

Rural schools struggle to survive or sustain teacher numbers. The forced emigration of so many young people will exacerbate this decline.

Even that great community and sports organisation — the GAA — is not immune. Many small clubs have had to join forces or face extinction. Many do not train in the communities they represent anymore because so many of their players work in far away towns or cities. Still more are in Perth or Phoenix, never to return.

Some, who have decided not to work the family farm have, unintentionally, undermined their parents’ sense of their own value.

The closure of so many pubs — an estimated 1,300 since 2006 — has had a profound impact too, but even this figure does not tell the full story. Many rural pubs are barely surviving and closure is a real prospect for many. Like it or not these closures eat at the heart of many communities.

There are some government and voluntary schemes doing trojan work trying to confront loneliness, but it is unlikely that they will survive next month’s budget unscathed. Be that as it may most of us know someone who would enjoy a visit or even a phone call especially in the darkest days of winter.

Loneliness is a human condition and the solution is human too. We all face the prospect but we all have it in our gift to end someone’s isolation.