Ain’t no cure for these hangover blues

THE Hangover II sounds like a stinker. Most of the reviews for the movie are suggesting they shouldn’t have bothered with the sequel. Having seen the original, I think they shouldn’t have bothered with that either — but it was a huge box office hit.

At the upper echelons of government, they’re not too worried about The Hangover II, as they are struggling through a major hangover of their own.

The big one, the real mother of all thumping headaches, churning up the entrails of the administration, is the comedown from a national party that went on for at least 15 years. There ain’t no cure for these particular hangover blues and plenty of the pain began manifesting itself last week.

Ruairi Quinn gave the clearest hint yet that there will be a reintroduction of third-level fees. There is a crisis in funding for third-level education. The Hunt Report, published last February, dealt with this issue and made recommendations that included a form of fees or loans for students. In the great tradition of these things, Quinn has commissioned another report. But the noises he is making suggest that this report will recommend fees or loans, and there will be hell to pay from the public when the dreaded day comes around.

Last week also brought Phil Hogan’s announcement that there will be a new household charge. This is not a property tax, because the Government promised there would be no property tax. When is a household charge not a property tax? When big Phil says so.

Apart from one ham-fisted effort at a property tax, this will be the first attempt since domestic rates were abolished in 1977, on foot of an election promise. The system of rates had been unfair, but instead of imposing a new, fairer system once the economy began growing, successive governments left well enough alone.

Hogan also signalled the introduction of water charges within the next year. This is another issue that is loaded with political dynamite. Water charges were abolished in 1996, prior to an election. The previous year, The Socialist Party had mounted a campaign against the charges, which nearly saw Joe Higgins beat Brian Lenihan in a by-election to fill the seat left by the death of Lenihan’s father. Since then, all parties, but particularly those on the left, have been acutely aware of the impact on the electorate’s psyche of water charges. (Few bother to mention that 200,00 homes are already paying water charges through group schemes, because they have no choice)

That’s the good news currently being brought to you by the folks running the country — college fees, property tax, water charges. At a time when most people are stretched to breaking, the prospect of more taxes and charges elicits every emotion from high dudgeon to despair to extreme anger.

While the timing is dire, the case for imposing all of these charges is compelling.

For the political psyche of both politicians and electorate has, since the economy began growing in the early 1990s, resembled a teenager on the batter. Constructing a grown-up system of taxation has continually been pushed onto the never-never.

Local government was funded from general taxation. This was fine and dandy while the economy was growing and teenagers on the batter can’t be expected to worry about tomorrow.

In 1995, college fees were abolished in an electoral stunt by the Labour party. More dipping into general taxation. The water charges fiasco hardened political attitudes to new taxes. Leave well enough alone. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Whose round is it, anyway?

The party accelerated in 1997, when the Progressive Democrats entered government on an agenda of cutting income tax. They were accompanied by Bertie Ahern on an agenda of perpetual campaigning for the next election. The economy was growing by 10% in 1997, and while it never achieved the same level in the following years, there was still plenty to go around. Nobody wanted to face up to reconfiguring the tax base to suit an adult democracy.

In 2003, the education minister Noel Dempsey attempted to reintroduce college fees in the name of societal fairness. He was shot down by the PDs. The junior coalition partner drew the bulk of its support from the middle classes whose kids went to college. What’s fairness got to do with it when votes were at stake?

The genuine boom begat the bubble, and money flowed in from property transactions. By this stage, the piss-up had turned into a rave. The political classes were gobbling tabs of ecstasy. The tax base was wholly reliant on the country flogging houses to each other. Tomorrow was never going to dawn.

If, by some fluke, a senior minister had attempted to bring in new charges, and if by some miracle, he or she got it past Ahern, there would have been hell to pay. By then, the opposition and the electorate were also out of their trees on the notion that general taxation was a bottomless barrel. The hubris that accompanied the bubble led many to believe we could manage taxation in a manner that was beyond almost every other established democracy.

Now, the dreaded day has dawned. Income tax, VAT, stamp duty have gone through the floor. The bailout troika has lectured that we must behave like a sober, grown-up country and introduce responsible taxes that are outside the ambit of work or consumption.

The extent of the delusion that previously existed was best illustrated by the introduction of a €200 tax for second homes in 2008, as the economy was falling apart. There was uproar on RTÉ’s Liveline and elsewhere. People who owned two homes were outraged they had to pay €200 per annum (€4 a week), extra.

Even since the collapse of the economy, there is a reluctance to face up to reality. A property tax was first mooted two years ago, yet there has been little progress is devising a site valuation system of taxing.

The hangover is pretty horrific right now. The bailout troika is dragging the nation from its drunken slumber to impose these new charges at a time when most people are strapped. It is only to be hoped that some modicum of fairness can attach to the efforts, but whether there is political will to do so remains to be seen.

Meanwhile, the Government is suffering its own hangover. Promises were made by both coalition parties in the general election. The impression was conveyed to voters that Fine Gael and Labour could see us through these dog days without much pain. The electorate was offered a hangover cure.

It’s not working. And when ministers like Hogan attempt to get the show back on the road, they are slapped down by Enda Kenny, and howled at from the Labour backbenches. At least their pain is political, and not the real thing being experienced by thousands on the frontline of the recession.

Getting through the hangover won’t be easy, but there are decades of irresponsibility to be purged. Unfortunately, there’s no way around it.

In the world of imbibing, the only way to escape a hangover is to keep drinking, keep drugging. Just keep on keepin’ on, until the madness kicks in.