Columnists challenged to figure it out

ONE of the best ways to ensure publication of a letter to the editor, ironically, is to begin by pointing out what a lazy shower some journalists are — especially those columnists who lunch, snooze, nurse gin and tonics and fret, God love them, over what the hell their next column is going to be about.

Then, mirabile dictu, manna from heaven, the Leaving Cert results: 4,375, or something like that, fail ordinary level maths.

What will the US Chamber of Commerce think of that? Remember, the US is the country of Newsweek magazine which has just declared Brian Cowen one of the top 10 national leaders (and you thought the Americans didn’t have a sense of humour).

How many of our illustrious columnists will delve a little deeper and ask “yes, but how many of that 4,375, or whatever, also failed English, French and geography?” Why? Because, dear columnist — oops, sorry, didn’t mean to wake you — if few of them failed these other subjects, then there is a problem with maths, but if most failed other subjects, then maths isn’t the problem. What? Of course, dear columnist, quite right, very considerate of you. Why upset your readers by delving into that sort of thing. Sure haven’t they got enough to worry about.

Sorry for mentioning it.

Brendan Casserly

Abbeybridge

Waterfall

Co Cork