No pain, no gain for the minister who mastered his environment

FOR quite a while before he became Environment Minister, Dick Roche was in contention for the Clever Political Pain in the Arse Perpetual Trophy.

He'd been some class of an international consultant before going into politics. He had a big brain on him. A well-read, neatly organised big brain. A big brain, every file folder of which he had immediate access to. He'd be able to tell you the last sentence you just read shouldn't have a preposition at the end of it. Not only would he be able to tell you stuff like that, he would make sure he told you stuff like that. No joke was ever cracked Dick Roche couldn't cap, no quotation ever quoted he couldn't give the source for, no policy ever mentioned he couldn't elaborate on, no conspiracy theory about which he didn't have the real story.

None of which made him Mr Congeniality. In the Dáil canteen, members of his own party would point him out as brilliant and well-informed and make sure not to sit at his table. Being brilliant and well informed is acceptable in a politician as long as the politician belts up about it. Brian Cowen is both, but can't be bothered to show off either. Bertie Ahern spends his life attentively listening to people on subjects he could write Encyclopaedia Britannica entries about. And while Micheal Martin admits to being well-informed, he gives a self-deprecating impression that he got there by accident.