Bertie deserves an Iraqi contract for ability to deconstruct language
Taoiseach Bertie Ahern confirmed that the Government "fully supports" the United Nations as the body responsible for maintaining peace and security throughout the world.
Unfortunately for the UN chief, he doesn't realise, as the people of Ireland do, that the Taoiseach is blessed with the peculiar knack of being able to support something and be against it at the same time.
It's a trait which runs through his Government. Like Fiona O'Malley of the Progressive Democrats, the minor players in the current FF-PD conglomeration.
She displayed the same schizophrenic condition in relation to the demolition job being carried out on the Freedom of Information Act.
She believes the hatchet job on one of the few instruments that people have to keep a check on a government which badly needs to be checked will limit access to personal information.
She criticised the Government, admitting she had a number of misgivings about watering down the Act, and she felt the public should have been consulted.
The Government's failure to consult more widely on the changes fed the public's cynical view of the political process, she declared from the moral high ground on which the Progressive Democrats was founded.
"There is no doubt," she declaimed, "that in a Republic where government is governing for the people and by the people, the people should have been consulted." So, she's going to vote against the Government motion, which is so detrimental to the public good and the public's right to know - right?
Wrong!
Ms O'Malley is going to vote in favour of something she believes to be wrong.
Her musings on democracy would seem to indicate she has a general idea what it's about, but the practical application is not for members of the Government parties.
She might be a new TD, but she's a fast learner, and she takes a lead from the top.
Which brings us back to Bertie Ahern and his dual stance on the UN.
The Government has given the Americans permission to continue to use Shannon airport for military purposes in their contrived war against Iraq.
The Taoiseach has refused to condemn the US and Britain for the pre-emptive strike without the support of the UN.
"The Government supports a system of collective international security. I am not answerable for pre-emptive strikes by anybody. I believe in the United Nations and I want to see it fully complied with," he said. This statement came soon after he said Ireland "appeared" to be on George Dubya's list of supporters for the war against Iraq. It certainly isn't his Christmas card list.
The Taoiseach said he heard an American official state that people who allowed overflights would be included in the list, so he presumed we would be. "We are not participating in the war, but they include on the list people who are allowing overflight facilities," he said.
This government-speak is really quite familiar to us in this country. We heard it before the general election when it was stated categorically that there would be no cutbacks, secret or otherwise.
They say one thing, with the intention of doing the opposite, and then get hoarse trying to convince people that they haven't the intelligence to see what they are about.
Therefore, the Taoiseach has absolutely no problem in pledging support to the US in their war efforts while pledging loyalty to the UN as the body responsible for maintaining world peace and security. Now, having admitted it "appeared" that Ireland is on George Dubya's list of ardent supporters, I wonder if there are Irish companies now trying to use the good offices of the Taoiseach to get on the gravy train which is already trundling towards the pot of gold that will be the reconstruction of Iraq.
The American development agency USAid has already shortlisted five US companies for a $900m contract to rebuild Iraq, something which Tam Dalyell, a British Labour MP, described as "vomit-making".
In fact, the divvying out of contracts to US companies was going on even before the first shots were fired.
One of the first to be selected was Halliburton, which once had Vice President Dick Cheney as chief executive.
However, the $900m worth of contracts is just the tip of the sandbank, and the reconstruction of Iraq promises to be an unimagined bonanza. That's not quite true. It was imagined because even before US invaded, Washington was lining up the contractors.
Rebuilding Afghanistan which didn't have much infrastructure in the first place is predicted to cost $15bn, while estimates for Iraq have crept as high as $100bn.
The huge drive under the Marshall Plan to straighten out Europe after World War II was mostly state affairs, but nowadays the invader is more inclined to farm out the work to the private sector, and keep wealthy political donors happy along the way.
It is not unknown for company representatives, anxious to get on with the lucrative job of reconstruction, to arrive in the war zone ahead of the 'liberating' forces. Nationalism in America pays huge dividends, especially to companies which have people in the right place at the right time, and have been generous in their donations to the party.
British Prime Minister Tony Blair had discussions this week at Dubya's retreat at Camp David about how things were going in Iraq.
A spokesman for the President made a remarkable statement at one stage. He said discussion with Mr Blair had not been a 'single issue' conversation.
The general consensus is that the current US leader would have difficulty in any discussion, not to mind one in which more than one issue was on the agenda.
But if Tony Blair had any sense he would have had more than thing on his mind, especially the question of sending some of those massive contracts in the direction of Britain. No doubt he did.
His Trade and Industry Secretary, Patricia Hewitt, called for a "level playing field" for British companies while Tony Blair was at Camp David.
She said British construction companies voiced concerns that they might not get a fair chance to win contracts for rebuilding Iraq alongside American firms.
It sounded just a little bit trite that having paid belated lip service to the role of the UN in a demolished Iraq, she expressed confidence that a number of British companies would be in there working with Iraqi companies, and "above all with the Iraqi people", to ensure that their economy could finally get the investment and development it needed.
Having aided and abetted in hammering the bejaysus out of the unfortunate people, they now want to capitalise on the mayhem and destruction they were party to.
I wonder how our own Government's application list secret or otherwise is going right now.
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