Mitchell goes green, bald cat, hot rear, flat tyre ... bank holiday hell!

THIS bank holiday weekend was doomed from Saturday morning. That was when I noticed Gay Mitchell had changed colour. He was flesh-coloured on his election posters last week. This week, he’s turned a spectacular seasick green.

Fine Gael will either sue the printers or give them a bonus for finding a way to make the same posters attract new attention halfway through the election campaign.

I spotted the posters from my husband's car, heading for the airport to drop him off. On the return journey, I got too hot to care about Gay Mitchell's neon green visage. This was because I didn't know how to turn off the heated driver's seat. The sensation was drive-your-own-funeral pyre. I possessed the hottest rear end in Ireland when I got home and noted that my own car had a slow-puncture relapse.