Bertie's book of evidence would give Comical Ali a good laugh

By Pat Brosnan

The book of evidence produced by the Government this week to fabricate its case for a not guilty plea to conning the electorate before the last general election is destined to take its rightful place in the Fairytales of Ireland.

They should have changed it to a plea of guilty, but insane. That we could have understood, and maybe have had a certain amount of sympathy for.

Instead, the two parties who mismanage this little country constitute an axis of sleeveens, to misquote Wubya Bush, but whose economy with the truth is on a par with Comical Ali.

Like Ali telling the world there was no sign of the Americans in Baghdad, despite evidence to the contrary, Taoiseach Bertie Ahern continues to rant about promises delivered even though we are overwhelmed by the evidence of our own eyes all around us.

Even on the day the so-called report was produced, he again repeated his vision of a "world-class public health service". One of the definitions of "vision" is a "vivid mental image produced by the imagination". Another is a "mystical, or religious experience of seeing some supernatural event".

The Taoiseach is well endowed in the former, and it would take the latter to realise the promises he made before the election. Instead of a world class public health service, what we actually have is a second-rate service which can be attributed solely to mismanagement by the Government and its agencies.

There are 4,000 more people on hospital waiting lists than there were 12 months ago; 200,000 extra medical cards are a figment of the Government's imagination; hospital beds are being closed down.

Part of the election scam was that by 2004 nobody would have to wait more than three months for a hospital appointment. Consider this: Children in need of chemotherapy have been turned away from Our Lady's Hospital for Sick Children because of bed and staff shortages.

The Crumlin hospital, which is the national referral centre for the most serious childhood conditions, has had to turn away up to six children a week on occasions. So far this year 25 beds at the hospital have already been closed due to financial pressures.

Their drive to get back into power was fuelled by compulsive lying, a deceit breathtaking in its execution.

We know what happened to the FF-PD promise to keep personal taxes low they increased VAT and motor taxes in the last Budget and failed to adjust the tax bands for inflation.

Ireland has over double the average inflation rate in the eurozone and the Government is directly responsible for half of it.

It is a sign of just how the current Fianna Fáil / Progressive Democrat conglomeration is distrusted by everybody in the country who is not a card-carrying member of either dysfunctional party, that they felt compelled to publish the 80-page disclaimer.

A further example of the utter arrogance we have come to expect from this Government is that at the press conference to launch it they expected the media to accept it without demur and without question.

Typical of their attitude, they did not want to answer one question, and it was only when it seemed that the event would degenerate into chaos that they reluctantly agreed to take four questions.

One of the galling things about it is that the very people they conned 12 months ago paid for the cost of printing what amounts to a gross insult to the intelligence of the people of this country.

To compound that insult Mr Ahern then advised everyone to go and get a copy of it and read it from cover to cover. Don't bother, because all it does is to try to justify their elaborate election scam, largely by listing references to work in progress.

That three-card-trick was epitomised by Minister for Finance Charlie McCreevy vowing there would be no cutbacks, secret or otherwise, yet within a month of getting back into power a series of stealth taxes and cutbacks were dumped on the people.

Now, all the responsibility for cheating the electorate cannot be laid at the doorstep of Fianna Fáil. They are in government with the Progressive Demagogues who originally portrayed themselves as the conscience of the administration if, indeed, it could be called an administration.

Belying the old adage that there is honour among thieves, PD chief whip Liz O'Donnell came out and dumped on Fianna Fáil, crediting them with all the empty promises. She forgot a few of their own. To mention one, the PDs promised to ensure all primary school buildings will meet high national standards within three years.

Some of those schools throughout this country are not fit for human habitation and have been that way for years. They would not be tolerated in a Third World country and it is not good enough for Fianna Fáilers to claim it is a legacy they inherited, because they were the party most often in power and could have done something about this appalling situation a long time ago.

And what about the 2,000 phantom gardaí promised by the PDs? It will be a long time, if ever, before one of those lads will be taking down your particulars.

Over two years ago the then Minister for Education, Michael Woods, gave the go-ahead for a new School of Music in Cork. Presumably, the money was there to meet it. It was to be finished some time this year.

Despite the fact that it now has the largest number of enrolments (3,443) of any institution of its kind in the country, there is no sign of a new building.

At the time of the announcement, Dr Woods said the success of the school was a testament to the dedication of the director and staff who are currently operating in 16 different temporary locations spread across the city.

At a capital cost of €46 million, the new school would have provided one of the most modern music learning environments in the world. It would have been, but it's just another example of how empty are Government promises.

Oddly enough, though, when it comes to looking after their own vested interests, like hanging together rather than separately, there is no shortage of money.

When the present Minister for Education, Noel Dempsey, was digging a hole for the FF-PD conglomeration by stubbornly insisting that fees for third-level education would be reintroduced, €42 million dramatically materialised from thin air.

The Paul Daniels trick prevented a serious row between the conglomeration parties from getting out of control and at the same time gave the minister a way out of the ridiculous situation he got himself into.

When you think about it, at least Comical Ali was trying to con the rest of the world, not his own people.