'Men must have a role' in solving the issue of gender-based violence

Sarah Everard's disappearance and ultimate death has sparked a much-needed conversation around men's roles in combating male violence, according to researcher Robert Bolton. Picture: Metropolitan Police/PA Wire

The disappearance and ultimate death of Sarah Everard has sparked a much-needed conversation around men's roles in combating male violence, according to a University College Cork researcher.

Robert Bolton is part of a team, led by Claire Edwards, which is looking into violence against women.

“It’s not all men. But it is men, and men must have a role in combating it,” Mr Bolton explains.

It comes as women, across Ireland, England, and the world take to social media to express their grief, anger, and fear — as well as sharing stories of when acts of violence were perpetrated against them.

Yet, despite this overwhelming wall of evidence that shows that women are afraid and that furthermore, they have a right to be, a counter-movement also brews, under the hashtag ‘Not all men’.

“I can understand why some men would have that reaction,” Mr Bolton added.

Some men do see that they have, possibly, committed violence against women in their own lives and feel ashamed. Some men are afraid of being stereotyped, and it's a very defensive reaction.

He explained that a fundamental lack of education also leads to the defensive reaction we see after horrific events such as the abduction and murder of Ms Everard.

“We need to listen to women. I think that's the most important thing that men can do right now,” Mr Bolton said.

“The reality is that this is an everyday thing. Some men are, in small ways and in big ways, saying things and doing things that are hurtful and intrusive to women,” he added.

The Cork-based researcher went on to explain that a lot of the aggressive male behaviour, which is felt by women, is a product of peer behaviour, in a sense, men trying to impress other men.

He said this pressure can make it difficult for men to speak out. He recalled an event from his own past in which he wishes he had stood up and called a man out for inappropriate comments.

“I didn't say anything because of this fear of disapproval,” he explained, wishing, in hindsight, that he had.

Tom Clonan is a former captain in the Defence Forces. He became a whistleblower after he stood up against sexual harassment and sexual assault in the organisation.

He believes the fundamental problem, in what is a recurring phenomenon of male violence against women, is toxic masculinity.

“The research into this type of violence leads us to the inescapable conclusion that we live in a misogynistic, sexist, patriarchal society,” Mr Clonan said.

We have a major problem in our society of gender-based violence and sexual violence; it's been a persistent recurring problem.

He believes that it is not enough just to just speak out. You also have to engage in action, which for him was researching feminism.

“Ultimately the answer to this lies in a challenge to patriarchal systems in our culture and our education in all areas of our life. We need to be the best human beings that we can be. And that means we need to embrace feminism. We all need to be feminists.

Another common trend in the aftermath of violence against women is victim-blaming. Questions are often asked, where the actions of the victim are scrutinised, rather than those of the perpetrator.

Seán Cooke, CEO of Men’s Development Network called on men to tackle the common practice.

“We shouldn't have a situation whereby we are turning the issue back on the victim here. It's a really troubling perspective to have. It’s neandertal,” Mr Cooke said.

He also moved to condemn the “Not all men” movement.

“If you're responding ‘Not all men’ well then you're sensitive to this for a particular reason. You are turning into a ‘man's issue’ when it’s not. A woman was murdered. That’s the bottom line here,” Mr Cooke said.