The widow of murdered detective Jerry McCabe has still not got over his horrific death 22 years later and says she misses him every day.
Ann McCabe, a mother of five, revealed that she needed eight years of psychiatric counselling to deal with the trauma of his killing, on June 7, 1996
“I had to be Ann at home and had to go out and put on a brave face which I did, but behind closed doors you’re a totally different person,” she says in the TG4 documentary series, Finné.
When you lose the love of your life the way I lost Jerry it makes you a totally different person. You never get over losing them, the missing and the losing of them, ever.
Ann tells the documentary that following Jerry’s death she could not get her life back on track.“It was just the loneliness and everything else got on top of me and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.
“I lost weight and I had sleepless nights. I still cry quite a bit,” she said. “I was attending a psychiatrist for eight years afterwards. She was wonderful to me and she got me through the dark days, and I had wonderful friends that came with me when I was going to see her.”
Ann said she was shocked that the four IRA men were convicted of manslaughter rather than murder and that she had to campaign to stop them from being released early under the Good Friday Agreement.
“We were a very private family, just a normal family, but we were thrown into the very deep end of the politics. And, sadly, Jerry was part of it even though he shouldn’t have been. Jerry was just doing his job.”