Outcry at more valleys, fewer peaks on Toblerones

Goodbye, the Alpine mountains of Toblerone; hello, heartbreak ridge.

The makers of the Swiss chocolate bar synonymous with returning from every holiday ever has sparked a social media storm after manufacturers changed the shape of its confectionary to reduce weight and save a few bob.

Suffice it to say, on a day when there was the possibility of a Trump presidency, this was just another indicator of the end of days.

In a statement on their Facebook page, Toblerone said: “Like many other companies, we are experiencing higher costs for numerous ingredients.”

And so it explained the gaps between the segments of chocolate would be made wider, thereby reducing the weight of the 400g bars to 360g and the 170g bars to 150g. For those of you more interested in the aesthetics than the chocolate, it seems the size of the packaging will remain the same.

Almost instantly, chocolate-lovers in Britain wondered aloud whether Brexit was to blame.

UK... What have you done??? #Brexit #Toblerone pic.twitter.com/BmrrJWD8sf

— Enda Conway (@EndaConway) November 8, 2016

A spokesperson for Mondelez International, which makes Toblerone , could not confirm whether the seismic changes in the weight and design would only affect the UK market, but they were quoted on the BBC as claiming any alteration “wasn’t done as a result of Brexit”.

Plenty of people on Twitter said that simply wasn’t good enough — and followed with Toblerone-themed gags.

“That Toblerone design is the chocolate equivalent of a combover,” wrote Ian Dunt, not unreasonably.

A contributor named Mike Holden went one better with a doctored picture showing one Toblerone peak at the end of the bar and then a flat, chocolatey tundra. “After Article 50 is triggered...” he wrote. Michael Pattinson continued the riff: “Unconfirmed reports that the gaps in a Curly Wurly are to be made into bigger gaps following the shocking #Toblerone story #Brexit”.

OK - I've put it to the test. The new #Toblerone looks underwhelming at best BUT it makes the perfect toast rack... pic.twitter.com/tdROkdwsX7

— Will Foster (@wgsfoster) November 8, 2016

It seems we in Ireland are also in line to get the new, altered bar, one which has had an enduring appeal despite the possibility of clumsy eaters stabbing themselves in the palate by trying to consume a peak in one go.

However, a spokesman for the Irish operation said only the 400g bar will be altered here, although the recommended retail price will remain the same.

Small mercies, maybe, as everyone else piled in to call out the biggest vandalisation of the pyramids this side of Egypt. “Yes, we do mind the gap”, declared The Guardian.

And all the while, the world wobbles on its axis...