Fianna Fail ‘not doing enough’ on same-sex marriage vote says Pat Carey
Mr Carey revealed his sexuality as he expressed concern that Fianna Fáil was not doing enough to ensure a Yes vote in the May referendum on extending civil marriage rights to same sex couples.
The former equality minister said he regretted that he had not come out while in active politics, and that he had been inspired to go public now by the “courage” shown by Health Minister Leo Varadkar.
Mr Carey revealed that he had only come to terms with his sexuality in recent years, as he grew up in what he called “a different era”.
“There are lots of men, and indeed women, of my generation who have the same difficulty that I had in coming to terms with how you articulate your gender issues,” said Mr Carey.
“You think back to what it was like when you were growing up, and if I were writing it up or whatever, would say since my early teens that I was aware that I was in some way different.
“The part of the country I came from the word ‘gay’ wasn’t even heard of — people were regarded as being ‘a bit odd’, but it was in later years it would have crossed my mind that I am different.”
The ex-Dublin TD said that he came out to friends and colleagues in 2011, and was enjoying being in a relationship after spending 35 years on his own.
Mr Carey said he had previously been “consumed” by politics, and it was only after the “car crash” Fianna Fáil defeat of four years ago that he found the space to “reflect” on his life and sexuality.
“I never had the confidence or the courage to do it, and it gets to a stage where you probably say to yourself ‘it’s too late for me to start talking about it now’,” Mr Carey said.
Sobering to remember that for more than two thirds of Pat Carey's life, he was criminalised because of who he loved. #YestoLove #MarRef
— Colm O'Gorman (@Colmogorman) February 13, 2015
He said he believed his family had a sense of him being gay.
“This referendum will be won by the mothers of Ireland, I think most mothers know and they have a way of knowing, and they never say,” he said.
“Certainly my generation didn’t say it to anyone, but I think they know in their hearts there is some kind of difference there, and they deal with it, and in my case I never had any difficulty with my family at all.”
#MarRef will be won by the mothers of Ireland, former FF minister Pat Carey tells Sean O'Rourke. "Mothers have a way of knowing." #todaysor
— Donal O’Keeffe (@Donal_OKeeffe) February 13, 2015
Mr Carey expressed concern at the casual use of homophobic remarks in everyday life, although he added that this hostility had lessened in recent years.
“I’d call it the locker room language — that’s no longer there — quite crude comments from people that I felt should have known better,” he said. “I heard it said not that long ago among a group of people whom I thought would have known better, and would have grown out of that way of articulating anything.
“Some people, I forgive them for their crude use of language at times because they’ve never been exposed to having to argue a position that clearly is new.”
Mr Carey said the Yes campaign would have a better chance in the referendum if political parties “did everyone a favour” and stayed out of the debate.
“There’s a huge amount of soft support for it, but from working the length and breadth of the country I get a fair feel for sentiment, and getting people to come out and vote on the day of the referendum is going to be the biggest challenge,” he said.
Pat Carey did more for equality issues today than he did as Equality Minister. And he looks more relaxed & content as well #LGBT
— Hazel | Travel Writer (@joyofhazel) February 13, 2015
Mr Carey said opponents should not try to muddy the referendum campaign by trying to make it about separate issues such as adoption, which are being dealt with in the Family Relationships Bill going through the Oireachtas.
“If I have a concern about this debate, it is that the Family Relationships Bill, that ought to have been passed by now really, the debate around that is going to be confused with the issues around marriage equality, which is a pity,” he said.
Mr Carey said he believed that party leader Micheál Martin considered him too old to stand again for the party, but he was proud that the last government brought in civil partnerships.
Just bumped into Pat Carey. His phone is buzzing with messages of good will and thanks. Most relaxed and happy I've ever seen him.
— Philip Boucher-Hayes (@boucherhayes) February 13, 2015
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