Ray D’Arcy in the soup as first day at RTÉ proves testing

It opened with a sigh, continued with a groan, and quickly it became apparent that RTÉ Radio 1’s new — or at least reconditioned — signing was in the soup.

Ray D’Arcy, returning to the national broadcaster after a 14-year sabbatical at Today FM, might have decided to come back with a bang, introducing a big-name guest, a cracking competition, or an outdoor broadcast from the top of the Spire in O’Connell St.

But the prodigal son had other ideas. The sigh was because some switch he was fiddling with wasn’t responding. Possibly it was the eject button because D’Arcy sounded like he’d rather be anywhere else.

He revealed he’d sneaked back to the RTÉ studios through the goods entrance because he didn’t want to meet anyone and be subjected to well-wishers showering him in welcomes.

He was spared that ordeal — apart from a tolerable encounter with Larry Gogan — but then had to put up with “105 meetings” in preparation for the show.

And what emerged from those 105 blue-sky sessions? Somebody decided to wallpaper the studio with reminders to D’Arcy that he was on RTÉ so the Today FM slogans and text numbers tattooed on his brain wouldn’t trip off his tongue by accident. Cue the groan.

Lest we forget! #raydarcyshow pic.twitter.com/HmPEXHmeFR

— WILL HANAFIN⚡️ (@willhanafin) February 2, 2015

Worse still, the new idol of matinee radio was charged €1.02 for soup in the RTÉ canteen. The 2c nearly sent him overboard. Why oh why, he asked, was there 2c added onto what might otherwise have been a perfectly neat transaction?

Poor Polish Margaret on the till couldn’t explain (though why it is necessary to point out an employee’s nationality also requires explanation — do they know more about soup in Poland?)

@DarrenMcMahon54 Opening a show with a convo about the price of soup in the RTE canteen 🙈 #manofthepeople

— Jenn Gannon (@thejenngannon) February 2, 2015

Mercifully, a musical interlude was on the way although Nina Simone was a rather doleful choice. “That took me about an hour last night to choose one song,” he said. If he was going for the world-weary approach, he nailed it.

But we hadn’t got to the guests yet. Surely there would be drum rolls, fireworks, autograph hunters queuing from Donnybrook to Douglas. Nope, there was Gay Byrne.

Bad decision by #RayDarcyShow to be covering the Stephen Fry thing immediately after #Liveline. Enough already.

— John Finn 🇪🇺 🇮🇪 (@carrigman) February 2, 2015

And then Paul Howard. And then Conor Pope and a group of people who’d previously been in with Ray on Today FM setting about giving up smoking and were now back talking about having given up smoking.

In fairness, the former smokers were a pleasant bunch, Pope is never less than interesting, and Howard could be left alone in a studio talking to a bowl of week-old soup and still be charming and funny.

Anyone like to add their 2c to the cause?

Not sure if it's first day nerves or time pressure but #RayDarcyShow feels & sounds awkward. Back to @SeanMoncrieff ...if he'll have me!!

— Maura O'Neill (@MauraONeill1) February 2, 2015