‘How do I live with the knowledge of my beautiful boys’ last moments?’

"How do I live with the knowledge of their last moments? How scared they must have been. Did they cry for me? Did they scream? Did they know what was happening?

“They had everything to live for. So much potential cut down in such a cruel and violent way by their own father who they loved and adored. He was their hero.”

Speaking after her husband pleaded guilty to murdering their two sons, Kathleen Chada questioned how such evil could have remained hidden for so long.

“I thought we were a normal, ordinary family,” she said. “Blessed to have two beautiful healthy boys, a lovely home, and good family and friends around us.

Eoghan, left, and Ruairí Chada, whose bodies were found in the boot of a car.

“I thought I knew my husband. On Sunday, July 28, 2013, Sanj brought me a cup of coffee in bed and I had a lie-in. Sanj had said he would take the boys bowling for a treat and to let me have a break. It was a fairly typical Sunday. The boys finished off their favourite dinner of dahl and rice and off they went.

“Little did I know that Sanj intended I never see any of them alive again. I question why he left me behind? I have to live with the belief he wanted me dead as well. He just didn’t know how I would have fought tooth and nail for my boys.

“Eoghan, 10, and Ruairí, 5, were bright, happy, sporty, popular, gorgeous boys who had their whole lives ahead of them. The betrayal of their love for Sanj is so painful for me to imagine. How can evil such as this have been hidden for so long in a seemingly loving father? How can he be so utterly, utterly selfish? They and I trusted him so totally.

“In fact, all during that long night last year, because he had the boys with him, I was so sure he would be OK. It never occurred to me that the boys were in danger from Sanj. How could they be — he was their father and loved them, I thought.”

Sanjeev Chada, 44, of Ballinkillen, Bagenalstown, Co Carlow, was sentenced to life for the murder of Eoghan and Ruairí at Rosbeg in Westport on July 29, 2013 at the Central Criminal Court yesterday.

Sanjeev Chada told gardaí he killed his children because he loved them.

The boys’ bodies were discovered in the boot of their father’s car after it crashed into a wall near Westport last year. Chada was in the driver’s seat. Kathleen said he robbed the family of “so very, very much”.

“I am so very, very proud of my two boys,” she said. “They touched so many lives in their short ones. Even their death has impacted so many. Their memory will continue to live on in Ballinkillen, in my heart, and in the hearts of all who truly love them.

“But how could Sanj have done this? I don’t ask why any more — just how? He even took Eoghan and Ruairí’s last moments from me. Even though he is responsible for their deaths he got to hold them while they were still warm and then just dumped them in the boot of the car, taking all dignity from them and abandoning them.

“By the time they were home they were so cold. I struggled to hold them. It broke my heart to have them home with me but not be able to lie between them snuggling as we did so many nights. They couldn’t even spend their last night at home on their own side of the bed because we had to disguise the damage to Eoghan’s head. Sanj did not have to bury his children, I did. I stood by that graveside as two white coffins with my whole life in them were laid side by side — big boys now but always my babies.

“There is no more joy in my life — only memories. He has robbed Eoghan, Ruairí, and I of everything. He has left me to live a double life sentence everyday with no chance of release in my lifetime.”

The court heard Chada had ran up massive gambling debts. He used €56,000 from community funds to gamble on the stock market. He had secretly mounted huge debts from online trading and borrowed from family and friends, and was €500,000 in debt at one stage from gambling other people’s money.

Chada said he also planned to kill his wife but he did not think he would be able to kill them together and she would have been too strong. He said he planned to carry out the killings two days beforehand and went out to find a secluded spot. When asked by gardaí why he killed his children, he said: “Because I love them so much.” When asked what it was all about he replied: “Money.”

The court heard he had written a number of notes before he killed his sons before attempting to take his own life. In a note to his wife, he explained the “pain they were going to witness was going to be too bad for them”. He asked his wife that he be buried with his children.