Domestic violence ‘a black stain’ on society

Women who are subject to domestic violence have to face being “eyeballed” and intimidated by their abuser because of the poor facilities at the Dolphin House family court, a government TD said.

Fine Gael’s Mary Mitchell O’Connor said domestic violence was a “black stain” on society, but recent pictures showing celebrity chef Nigella Lawson being held by the neck by her husband will encourage people to talk about it.

The pictures prove abuse “goes right across all class and religions” said Ms Mitchell O’Connor, reflecting what she has been told by women as a TD and formerly as a school principal.

She urged women suffering to contact somebody and get help because “it’s not right to happen to a woman in the home and it’s not right for children to witness it”.

However, the Dún Laoghaire TD said getting help is not an easy thing to do: “People say ‘why don’t women leave?’ It’s very difficult because often women don’t have anywhere to go. It’s not like you can up and take your children out of the family home.”

She said: “It’s very hard to put your hands up and say ‘I am being abused in my own home’. When you tell your story then you are diminished in your own eyes and diminished in your family’s eyes.”

Ms Lawson’s husband, Charles Saatchi, has played down the significance of the incident caught on camera as a “playful tiff” with his wife.

However, Ms Mitchell O’Connor said this sort of “diminished phraseology” is a big part of the problem.

She said women coming out of middle class homes in Ireland who have spent their lives rearing their children “have absolutely nowhere to go.”

She added: “Women coming out of middle-class homes will not get social housing, where, if you are coming from social housing, we’ll do our best to try and ensure you will get another home.”

In an interview on RTÉ radio, she criticised the facilities available at the Dolphin House family court where she was recently “taken aback by the queues of people trying to get to a window where a single woman was dealing with cases”.

She said women in abuse cases are being required to “sit across from the person who was beating you in the home — eyeballing you and making you feel inferior”.

She compared this to the “state of the art” Central Criminal Court where people accused of a range of crimes get free legal aid and are “treated like a majesty”