No embarrassed blush under Dempsey’s tan

IT’S a shame Transport Minister Noel Dempsey spent so long sunning himself in the Med as his abilities to keep digging whilst in a hole would surely have been an inspiration to those struggling to clear treacherous roads and footpaths back home.

Breezing into the Emergency Response Committee room to explain his absence Mr Dempsey’s mild mid-winter tan was put in the shade only by the sheer brazenness of his arrogance.

“I’m glad things are improving so fast – I’m only in the country two or three hours and the thaw has set in,” he grinned, blissfully unaware he did not need to attempt humour as he has become a national joke whilst away. Oh dear, he may have been dragged back from balmy Malta by the anger of those left slip-sliding their way to Emergency Departments at home, but Mr Dempsey clearly still inhabits that strange cut-off from reality land known as Planet Minister.

“I can’t say I’m glad to be back in the cold weather but I am here now,” he whined. As the snows fell, the roads turned to ice rinks and public transport in the capital temporarily collapsed, we sought him here, we sought him there, but the Transport Pimpernel refuses to show the merest hint of embarrassed scarlet at his absence.

While the nation was bracing itself for a transport emergency last Tuesday, the Transport Minister was bracing himself for the Med.

“I was only out of the country since Tuesday, but I feel I’ve been here all the time I’ve been so well briefed by my department officials,” he said excitedly.

Oh, how he must have felt our pain as he dipped into the glistening waters of the hotel’s heated pool.

The minister deployed a deliberately obtuse, almost juvenile defence of his actions – or rather inaction – which could be summed -up as “Hmmm! It’s sooo unfair – I didn’t cause the weather!”

No Noel, you didn’t, but the problem is, you are paid a huge amount of money to make sure the transport system runs as smoothly as it can in such emergency circumstances.

“I don’t think I would have been able to prevent the weather from happening whether I was in the country or out of the country. The view that because one minister is out of the country that this immediately caused all of the problem is less than fair.

“I can’t think of one other item that could have been done if I was in the country that hasn’t been done,” he declared.

As if to underline his regression to teenage tantrum mentality, Mr Dempsey bristled at suggestions his street received special gritting treatment: “There’s a big pot hole outside my gate as well, I didn’t see that commented on. “Ministers for Transport don’t actually go out and grit the roads,” he sneered.

Well, this Minister for Transport doesn’t seem to do much at all.

Mr Dempsey was keen to point out the snow chaos was worse in Britain (he’d done some exhaustive fact finding flicking through the Maltese hotel’s cable channels). But the difference is that if any British minister had behaved with Mr Dempsey’s level of arrogance and contempt this week he would have been forced to resign by now.

When it was pointed out to him that his actual presence in the country during a transport crisis might have been nice for people to witness, you know, display that thing this Government totally lacks – leadership, he replied: “I don’t see that they needed to see or hear from me.” and followed it with the PR disaster gem: “It’s never a bad decision to go on a holiday.”

Well Noel, as you have boasted that your presence in the country has absolutely no bearing on how transport functions here, perhaps we don’t need to see or hear from you again – please take a 52-week holiday and leave your €216,000 pay cheque at the airport on the way out.