It’s criminal: TV3 autumn line-up a real fright fest

LOCK your doors. Treat that granny next door with suspicion.

Hide from hardened, gun-toting urban criminals. And in the highly probable event you become another blood-splattered Irish crime statistic, whatever you do avoid hospital emergency departments. In other words, be afraid. Be very afraid.

Yesterday, TV3 launched its autumn schedule amid the compulsory glitz, glamour and gormless Irish celebrity name-drops that come with such a function.

Surrounded by “stars” like X Factor’s Eoghan Quigg, the new Xpose team, and Nick Munier from Hell’s Kitchen, the private station’s bosses announced “over one-third” of airtime in the coming months will be set aside for Irish drama, factual and entertainment shows.

In TV3’s Ireland, that means crime, crime and more crime.

Among the main attractions set to be aired over the coming months include the new six-part series Ireland’s Crime Capitals; a two-part drama called The Guards and one-off specials like Facing Death&.

Other programmes like The Apprentice, the Irish version of Deal Or No Deal, new current affairs show Midweek, and a range of US imports have also been confirmed.

But despite the additions, the TV3 line-up seems more than a little obsessed with crime and guns. The station’s don – sorry, chief executive – David McRedmond, seemed to confirm as much when congratulating his staff.

“We have stuck to our guns ... to deliver what we believe is the best schedule on Irish television,” he said, adding the achievement was “thanks to 200 of the hardest-working, most creative people in Irish media”. The figure would be higher, but 50 former staff members have strangely disappeared in the past 12 months, their careers at the station being dumped in shallow graves.

Those missing workers might be interested in two other additions to the TV3 schedule over the coming months: The Forgotten Irish, a two-part series on emigration, and Surviving the Recession.