‘The head off yer man from Heroes’

AN aspiring MEP has got to know their geography and, with the wide expanse of the European constituencies, it’s easier said than done.

With Ireland South covering everywhere from the Dingle Peninsula to East Waterford and in between, it’s life-or-death for the MEP of the future that he make some kind of momentary connection on walkabout.

And, so Sean Kelly has Denis and Colm Burke has Sinead. Sinead and Denis could perhaps be described as the “intros” (introductions of sorts).

Denis, with his straw cowboy hat, and louder-than-life personality, would look perfectly at home heckling the referee on the terraces of Fitzgerald Stadium. Today, he’s canvassing Blackpool Shopping Centre on the northside of Cork city with former GAA president and European Parliament candidate, and the crowds are loving him.

Denis has been hauled in as he’s Northside born-and-bred and men, women and nuns alike can’t help but smile at his cheeky humour.

“Sean, there’s a lady that I’d like you to meet,” booms Denis. And over, toddles a small nun.

“These ladies were my second home, Sean. I used to spend so much time up there. Sister Gertrude was very good to me,” Denis waxes as Sean shakes one hand demurely and presses a Vote Kelly. Number One leaflet into the other.

“I’m not Sister Gertrude. I’m Sister Joan,” smiles the nun, half-smiling and half giving that stern glare feared by generations of schoolgirls. But nothing stops Denis.

“That’s right, Sister. Sister Gertrude was a great woman. I used to sit up on her knee,” he carries on, unapologetically.

The unfailingly polite Kelly places his hand on the pint-sized sister’s shoulder.

“Aah. We need your prayers Sister. It makes all the difference. I believe there isn’t a politician who won an election in this country without prayers from the nuns.”

If nuns were ever to admit to snorting, this nun is snorting.

“Aah now, you see there’s Colm Burke running too”, she smiles referring to the growing battle between the two Fine Gael candidates.

“Aah, we’re going for the two sister. We are looking for the two seats,” he smiles, before wandering off for pictures with the famed Blackpool Shopping Centre statue of another GAA man, former Fianna Fáil taoiseach, Jack Lynch.

“I have great time for him. Jack Lynch was all that is good about sport and politics. He had honour. All politicians should aspire to that. We should aspire to be like him,” he said.

Burke himself was in Cobh yesterday and running around the harbour town like a wind up solider, whizzing in and out of pubs, banks, newsagents and chemists. He is a man in a hurry, making up for having been on parliament business until this week.

His intro is none other than Sinead Sheppard the former girl band member who is now seeking a seat for Fine Gael on the town council.

Cobh loves Sinead and with her groomed locks and gleaming white teeth, she’s a poster girl for youth politics. She can also charm for Ireland.

Burke is fighting this election on his 14 years of experience in local and European politics. He earnestly tells punters that he spent 10 years on the Port of Cork Board, marketing Cobh to cruise liner companies, that he has fought hard for better access to healthcare and that has pushed greater European investment in the European Globalisation Fund which will provide job retraining for the unemployed. Much of it is lost on people, with large numbers just happy that he’s not Fianna Fáil.

“Fine Gael? Oh, you’ve got my vote. George Lee turned me last week,” says local draper, John O’Brien.

As Colm whizzes around a busy nearby cafe, he asks a student, sipping coffee, to give him her first vote. She looks at him blankly before pushing his flyer towards her friend. “He’s the head of yer man from Heroes, isn’t he?” she says.

Is that enough of a connection?