Thong and cheek All-Ireland banter

THERE’LL be a real ‘thong and dance’ if Kerry manage to overcome the challenge of Tyrone tomorrow and win their third All-Ireland senior football title in a row.

The Kingdom’s ladies have been busy snapping up a range of saucy hotpants and thongs in their county colours, in anticipation of yet another Croker triumph.

Unfortunately, many have lost out because sales were so brisk that suppliers Puckout.com ran out of the garments last Thursday. Another hugely popular seller is a Kerry T-shirt bearing the word “Galvinised” in honour of Kerry’s captain Paul Galvin, who returns to the squad for the game after serving a three-month suspension.

Meanwhile, Tyrone’s hairy footballers have cultivated a whole new support base ahead of tomorrow’s clash, as the oldest moustache club in the world has backed their efforts to put facial hair on the map. The prospect has now been mooted of multi-decorated Tyrone entering the 2009 World Beard and Moustache Championships in Anchorage, Alaska, a cold part of the world where a good growth on the face is thought to help wearers through the harsh winter climate.

“Bravo, we say,” said Steve Parsons, secretary of the London Handlebar Club, some of whose members regularly meet up to watch Gaelic football in a London pub owned by Irishman Mike Tierney. Parsons and his colleagues have adopted Tyrone as their sports team of 2008 after reading about the sudden explosion of beards among Mickey Harte’s men, a move that is believed to signify a deep bond within the team.

Meanwhile, bookmakers William Hill have confirmed what many would consider a rather unusual wager.

Believe it or not, a Corkman has placed a five-figure sum on Kerry winning the match.

The William Hill telephone punter stuck €12,000 on Kerry retaining the Sam Maguire at odds of 4-9, and stands to collect €17,333.33 if Pat O’Shea’s team wins.

“The majority of money that we’ve taken in Cork has been for Tyrone,” said a William Hill spokesman.

Paddy Power are making Kerry 8/13 favourites to win, with Tyrone at 7/4 and 8/1 the draw.

Kieran Donahy is 7/1 favourite to score the first goal and he’s equal with Colm Cooper for the man of the match award at 15/2.