It’s deja vu all over again — except for the Green ‘slugs’

AS TDs huddled together in the chamber waiting to vote, the shifting scene was reminiscent of a playground on the first day of term.

Overawed newcomers excitedly took in the surroundings as fresh gangs and alliances emerged and vied for supremacy.

The unfolding drama was thrown into vivid sharpness by the election of John O’Donoghue as head boy — or ceann comhairle to give the full title to his role as impartial and non-partisan speaker of the lower chamber — a strange position for one of the most verbally aggressive FF ministers now slumming it after his sudden ejection from the cabinet.

The Greens, for so long derided as political wimps (or salad-eating slugs as the newly impartial ceann comhairle memorably referred to them) had decided to hang with the big boys this time.

They cut anxious figures as they were introduced to their new pals on the government benches — the same FF toughs who used to rob their dinner money and have now lifted them of a number of their core principles as well.

Though not yet on the level of the Hapsburg Empire’s dual monarchy, the relationship between taoiseach Ahern and de facto taoiseach-elect Brian Cowen was becoming ever more entwined as they watched the new political topography transform before them.

During the down-time between votes they sat almost slumped into each other on their chairs, their body language at times melding into one as they received well-wishers like Trevor Sargent, their fiercest critic in the 29th Dáil, their junior minister in the 30th.

Perhaps the Biffo/Bertie merger (Biftie?) was getting too much for Mr Cowen as he had changed the lilac tie thath clashed with the taoiseach’s to a sober grey one by the time he was confirmed as tánaiste.

Pat Rabbitte (once linked to North Korea’s murderous Stalinist regime by the new impartial ceann comhairle) led another great Labour failure as he tried to block both the appointment of Mr O’Donoghue and Mr Ahern.

Despite giving magnanimous tributes to the taoiseach on his re-election, the reaction of the party leaders to the announcement of the vote was telling. As the FF backbenches exploded into applause and a standing ovation, Mr Sargent clapped dutifully but without enthusiasm, Mr Rabbitte clapped extremely slowly, like a bored punter giving a heavy hint to a tired act who had hogged the stage too long, while Enda Kenny did not clap at all.

Perhaps he had other things on his mind, no longer delusional he would become taoiseach, he did feel the need to remind the house he had brought 20 new buddies in with him this time as Dáil muscle. But will they be friends for long? As the playground shuffled impatiently waiting to vote, interesting sub-groups could be spied. Prominent among these on the FG side was the discontents, a loose collection of the likes of John Deasy, Michael Noonan etc, who are not Mr Kenny’s biggest fans and who eagerly eyed the ambitious new intake for like-minded souls.

THE Teutonic plates of the Dáil had shifted markedly since the last meeting, with Fine Gael swelling out across extra benches, the Greens propping up Mr Ahern as the Independents and Sinn Féin shrunk back. Everything changed except Labour that is — frozen in its own ice age, still 20 or so TDs, still facing down the barrel of another five years in opposition, the only thing moving on for the party is the average age of its deputies, which will be 62 at the next election.

The taoiseach looking ahead though, asked provocatively: “It’s another five years of Bertie Ahern then?” as he arrived at the Aras, Mr Ahern replied: “Afraid so!” At least daughter Cecelia had been in the Oireachtas gallery earlier to mouth “PS: I love you” to him — much as Mr Sargent had done.

In order to vote for taoiseach, the deputies had to climb the Dáil’s steps and then circumnavigate the chamber. So, the first thing the TDs of the 30th Dáil did was to go round in circles. Some things never change.