Mr McCreevy: it’s dog-eat-dog in the fast lane

CONTRARY to popular opinion among Fianna Fáil followers, Ireland’s new EU commissioner Charlie McCreevy is not even top dog in his own family.

Instead, the honour may well go to another member of the Co Kildare clan who has proven himself a real punter’s favourite - on the greyhound track.

In a new brand of Lilywhite hubris, (to be known as EU-bris), the dog who formerly ran as Brave Kewell was rechristened De Commissioner in July - just three days after it was confirmed that McCreevy was Brussels-bound in the autumn.

The dog is co-owned by the minister’s wife, Noeleen, who has an impressive record as a greyhound owner with 29 wins from 115 starts - a one-in-four success rate.

Although De Commissioner may not quite be on the same earnings as his co-owner’s husband, the dog has won an impressive €2,620 since he was entered in his first race last May.

His outings to date have included a five-run winning streak between races in Waterford and Thurles which compares reasonably well with his master’s unbeaten eight-in-a row in his home county at general election time.

De Commissioner’s success may also raise collective heartbeats among the mandarins of Bord na gCon, the Irish Greyhound Board, who could be forgiven for hoping the incoming EU Internal Market Commissioner might “do a Punchestown” for his wife’s favourite sport. Poochestown, perhaps.

However, De Commissioner’s transition to bigger races in Dublin in recent weeks has proven less successful.

In what may well be a portent for the real commissioner of the harsh political reality of moving from the cosiness of the Department of Finance to the EU melting pot, his namesake recently finished last in his first race at the canine Mecca of Shelbourne Park.

If McCreevy is superstitious, he’ll be even more unnerved after De Commissioner was elbowed out by a rival when leading a race at Harold’s Cross last month before eventually finishing third.

Downward spirals are not meant to happen in either a greyhound’s performance or a nation’s economy upon the watch of the Kildare politician.

And while McCreevy goes off to Europe, the rest of Ireland can literally go to the dogs if they want to keep in touch with Champagne Charlie’s fortunes.