Compliments to the season: the Premier League’s relationship to anything at all resembling ‘the greatest league in the world’ might exist primarily in the minds of the television brand masters but, credit where it’s due, the 2015/16 model is the gift that just keeps on giving.

Sitting in the autumnal sunshine at the Arsenal on Saturday, soaking up some rays, while watching a supremely dominant display against Stoke, with the Gunners spraying the ball around in such a pleasing-on-the-eye fashion, it’s hard to imagine a more pleasurable way of passing a Saturday afternoon.

Ah well. I did take care to insert a giddy-warning in last week’s column, and it turned out to be well-founded. United’s unexpected spring offensive duly found out that Stamford was indeed A Bridge Too Far.

Connecticut man arrested after driving stolen car to meeting with cops

Last year’s Ladbrokes St Leger hero Encke was the highest-profile name among seven further Mahmood Al Zarooni-trained horses to test positive for anabolic steroids.

To the list of ailments which we can only presume routinely assail whoever happens to be managing Chelsea at any given time, must now be added amnesia.

The blizzard conditions affecting the northeastern US have delayed an attempt by former developer Seán Dunne and his wife, Gayle Killilea, to have a case against them dismissed.

Liverpool have all but finalised a £12 million (€14.7m) deal for Chelsea striker Daniel Sturridge for the start of January, the Irish Examiner has learned.

The love letters, school papers, and dramatic works of a college-age Joseph Goebbels reveal a romantic young man beginning to show signs of anti-Semitism and egotistical behaviour, according to a Connecticut auction house selling the pre-war writings of Adolf Hitler’s propaganda chief.

GEOTHERMAL energy developers plan to pump 24 million gallons of water into the side of a dormant volcano in Central Oregon this summer to demonstrate new technology they hope will give a boost to a green energy sector that has yet to live up to its promise.

I STRUGGLED to muster the enthusiasm to drag myself off the couch on Sunday afternoon. I’d been feeling decidedly ropy and the last thing I fancied was freezing my cods off on my motorbike traversing the capital to Stamford Bridge.

THE family of a Connecticut woman mauled and blinded by a chimpanzee has sought to sue the state for $150 million (€100m), saying officials failed to prevent the attack.

ASHLEY COLE seems to be winning over the Chelsea faithful and it’s about time. He was a very unpopular signing for a number of reasons. Obviously the long-term association with Arsenal was never going to make him an instant hit; that he was seen as taking the place of the popular Wayne Bridge also made some dislike him, which is hardly fair.

HOTEL giant Marriott has dropped its legal claim that a woman raped in front of her children at gunpoint was careless and partly to blame, following a storm of protest.

POLICE in New York believe the body of a two-year-old child discovered in the Passaic River last Sunday may have been removed from a grave at a Connecticut cemetery.

The family of the woman horribly mauled by a friend’s chimpanzee last month is seeking $50m (€38.6m) damages from the owner.

Chelsea 0 Liverpool 0

Conservative Party MP Quentin Davies defected to Labour today on the eve of Gordon Brown taking over as British Prime Minister.

Rafael Benitez lashed out at Chelsea winger Arjen Robben after Liverpool goalkeeper Jose Reina was sent off nine minutes from time in the 2-0 defeat at Stamford bridge for pushing the Dutchman in the face.

CHELSEA manager Jose Mourinho has warned Arsenal that his side are ready for the title fight after admitting he can smell the scent of success in the air at Stamford Bridge.

Senator Joe Lieberman has said he will run for US president in 2004, telling pupils and parents at his old school that he will always "put America first".

CLAUDIO RANIERI believes the “swimming pool” Stamford Bridge pitch will transform today’s FA Cup third-round showdown with terrible travellers Middlesbrough into a lottery.

Conservative Party Northern Ireland spokesman Quentin Davies today held talks with loyalist paramilitary representatives as part of new moves to secure decommissioning.