The end of the affair draws ever closer

I’M not sure whether to laugh or cry. On Sunday a man by me felt ill and there were numerous calls for assistance. As stewards and medics raced up the stairs another fan slipped and fell a**e over tit in the opposite direction.

Our attention suitably diverted by this episode of Keystone Kopites, Gerrard set up Didier Drogba for a goal that will probably settle the title. Thirty seconds, one season encapsulated. Sad, funny, inept – and a tiny bit shameful. There’s your title for the 09/10 DVD right there.

Of course nobody was tearful about United being unable to kick us off what is, to all intents and purposes, their perch now. We’re squatters in all but name, but the eerie atmosphere at Anfield and its unsurprising denouement gave yet more cause for concern.