Newcastle 2 Chelsea 2: Tyneside remains a no-win zone for Jose Mourinho and refreshingly, it was also a no-whine zone for the Chelsea manager, who for once resisted the urge to blame outside influences for his team’s failings.

Substitutes Ramires and Willian got Chelsea out of jail as they fought back from 2-0 down at Newcastle to snatch a point.

West Ham 2 Newcastle 0: Slaven Bilic gave Steve McClaren another miserable evening as West Ham finally got their home campaign up and running with a 2-0 win over Newcastle last night.

Aaron Ramsey is as likely to take notice of the high-profile brickbats aimed Arsenal’s way from the acerbic tongue of Gary Neville as he is the Premier League table before the end of October.

Louis van Gaal won't be pleased…

Daryl Janmaat has admitted his “stupid” actions cost Newcastle any chance of success at Swansea.

NEWCASTLE UNITED 2 SOUTHAMPTON 2:

Newcastle United 2 West Ham United 0: As a survivor of testicular cancer, Jonas Gutierrez is used to winning battles far more important than those against mere relegation.

QPR 2 Newcastle 1: There were times, in the not too distant past, when a big end-of-season match for Newcastle meant an FA Cup final, a Champions League qualifier, or even a title tilt.

Newcastle 1 West Brom 1: Not only does Tony Pulis perform miracles, he also predicts them. How else to explain his assertion that John Carver will still be in charge at Newcastle when the new season starts in August?

LEICESTER CITY 3 NEWCASTLE  0: Mike Williamson has apologised for his sending-off for Newcastle at Leicester on Saturday but denied his manager John Carver’s claim that his dismissal was deliberate.

Newcastle United 1 Tottenham Hotspur 3: Newcastle United supporters who refused to join a boycott of the game only witnessed further evidence of the decline of a team head coach John Carver accepts is now involved in a fight against relegation.

Liverpool 2 Newcastle 0: If it’s legal highs Raheem Sterling is searching for, then he is better off sticking to the intoxicating feeling he gives Liverpool fans at Anfield on a weekly basis.

Sunderland 1 Newcastle United 0: Jermain Defoe is a quick learner. Sunderland’s recent acquisition has spent the last fortnight taking a crash-course in Wear-Tyne derby history, and it took him less than 45 minutes to write his name indelibly into its latest chapter.

Newcastle 1 Arsenal 2

Home is where the heart is, and James McCarthy helped domestic bliss finally return to Goodison Park for Evertonians.

Newcastle United 0 Manchester United 1: Louis Van Gaal’s side moved a small step closer to Champions League qualification as Ashley Young’s 89th minute smash and grab goal secured three vital points for Manchester United.

Ashley Young fired Manchester United to a last-minute victory at Newcastle to maintain their charge for a top-four finish.

Check out the starting line-ups for all of tonight's matches.

Manchester City 5 Newcastle United 0: THE prospect of facing mighty Barcelona - Messi, Neymar, Suarez et al - will presumably offer Manchester City more concern than this perfunctory five-goal thrashing of Newcastle but so schizophrenic are the mood swings at the Etihad Stadium these days that captain Vincent Kompany is relishing the prospect.

The team news for tonight's Premier League games.

Newcastle 1 Stoke 1: By Mark Hughes’s usual abrasive standards, his criticism of referee Kevin Friend was calm and measured, but that was only because the Stoke City manager had seen substitute Peter Crouch earn his team a deserved point with a 90th-minute header.

Stoke striker Peter Crouch came off the bench to snatch a draw at Newcastle with a dramatic late equaliser.

Hull City 0 Newcastle United 3: Newcastle head coach John Carver is convinced Remy Cabella is the right man to spur his side towards a top 10 finish in the Barclays Premier League.

Hull 0 Newcastle 3

All the team news from around the grounds ahead of Week 23 in the Premier League - more to follow as it comes in.

Premier League

Match-winner Eljero Elia has thanked Southampton boss Ronald Koeman for handing him a chance to prove himself all over again.

Eljero Elia scored twice to fire Southampton back into third place in the Barclays Premier League with a hard-fought victory at Newcastle.

All the team news from around the grounds ahead of Week 21 in the Premier League.

Newcastle 1 QPR 0

West Brom 0 Newcastle 2

Newcastle United 1 Liverpool 0

Newcastle 1 Liverpool 0

All the team news from around the grounds ahead of Week 10 in the Premier League - more to follow as it comes in.

Newcastle boss Alan Pardew is likely to be without striker Papiss Cisse once again for the Capital One Cup fourth-round trip to Manchester City.

Tottenham Hotspur 1 Newcastle United 2

Tottenham 1 Newcastle 2

Newcastle 1 Leicester 0

All the team news from around the grounds ahead of Week 8 in the Premier League - more to follow as it comes in.

Premier League

Team news for the 3pm games in the Premier League

Premier League Stoke City 1 Newcastle United 0

All the team news from around the grounds ahead of Week 3 in the Premier League - more to follow as it comes in.