A GUY walks into a bar and shouts: “Drinks all around: my wife’s next in line for the Nobel Peace Prize!”

WILL the real Kim Jong-il please stand up?

South Korean officials headed to North Korea today for their first Red Cross talks in nearly two years amid a push by the North to reach out to Seoul and Washington after months of provocations, including nuclear and missile tests.

TENS of thousands of mourners filled the lawn outside parliament for the state funeral yesterday of ex-president Kim Dae-jung, a longtime defender of democracy and advocate of reconciliation, who won the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to reach out to communist North Korea.

South Korea's President Lee Myung-bak will meet a delegation of visiting North Korean officials tomorrow, the latest sign that ties between the divided countries are warming.

FORMER South Korean president Kim Dae-jung has died. The 85-year-old leader had been in a Seoul hospital since last month with pneumonia.

Former South Korean president Kim Dae-jung has died, it was reported today.

From the man in Colombia who was named after the King of Pop, to Malaysians who named a soya drink for him, to a generation of people around the world who have tried to moonwalk, the news stunned the world.

Former South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun, embroiled in a broadening corruption scandal, died from a fall today in the mountains behind his rural southern home. He left behind a suicide note, his lawyer said.

Pro-US former businessman Lee Myung-bak took the oath of office as South Korea’s new president today, vowing to revitalise the economy, strengthen relations with the US and deal with nuclear-armed North Korea.

South Korea’s presidential election was won by runaway favourite Lee Myung-bak by a landslide today.

South Koreans voted for a new president today in an election widely expected to end a decade of liberal rule.

Leaders of the two Koreas began formal talks today at the first summit between the divided countries in seven years.

NORTH KOREAN leader Kim Jong Il showed scant enthusiasm for the visiting South Korean president yesterday, while orchestrated crowds of thousands cheered the start of the second summit between the divided Koreas since World War II.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Il greeted South Korean president Roh Moo-hyun in Pyongyang today to begin the second summit between the two countries since the peninsula’s division after the Second World War.

UN nuclear chief Mohamed ElBaradei headed to North Korea today for talks on how to implement a landmark nuclear disarmament agreement.

Bangladeshi Muhammad Yunus and the Grameen Bank have won the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize, it was announced in Oslo, Norway, today.

The European Union today appealed to North Korea to cancel apparent plans for test firing a long-range ballistic missile, an issue that has caused tensions in Eastern Asia to flare.

North Korea declared today it is free to conduct missile tests, saying it is not bound by prior agreements to refrain from testing and that outsiders do not have right to interfere, a news report said.

North Korea today warned that US moves to build a missile shield were fuelling a dangerous arms race in space, as countries in the region urged the communist nation to halt apparent plans to launch a long-range missile.

North Korea today abruptly cancelled groundbreaking test runs of trains across its highly-guarded border with South Korea, citing an atmosphere of confrontation and war.

North Korean officials visited South Korea’s National Assembly for the first time today in a symbolic gesture of reconciliation with their democratic rivals during joint celebrations of the 60th anniversary of the Korean Peninsula’s liberation from Japanese colonial rule.

A high-level delegation from North Korea arrived in Seoul today for talks with the rival South in an atmosphere of optimism after North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pledged to seek reconciliation and hinted at a return soon to nuclear disarmament negotiations.

North and South Korean officials today pledged to cooperate and pursue eventual unification as they celebrated the fifth anniversary of a summit between their leaders under the shadow of the international stand-off over the North’s nuclear ambitions.

Top US and Chinese negotiators met today for discussions on luring North Korea back to nuclear disarmament talks, after Washington dismissed the North’s latest threat to resume long-range missile testing as counter-productive.

The cacophony of propaganda anthems, bellowing in a time-honoured tradition along the tense border between South and North Korea, entered a final refrain today with an agreement to phase out such broadcasts and propaganda signboards in the coming months.

NORTH Korea yesterday accused the United States of plotting a nuclear attack on the communist country and condemned Washington’s decision to send additional long-range bombers to Guam.

SOUTH KOREAN President Kim Dae-jung left office yesterday, urging the United States to hold one-on-one talks with North Korea to defuse a crisis over the reclusive communist State’s nuclear intentions.

At least 120 people were killed today after a man, who had threatened arson before, set fire to an underground train in South Korea’s third-largest city.

NORTH KOREA has accused the United States and South Korea of planning a massive joint military attack against it, even as a Seoul envoy in Pyongyang pushed ahead with diplomatic efforts to resolve the Korean nuclear crisis.

North Korea withdrew from the global nuclear arms control treaty today but insisted it had no plans to develop nuclear weapons “at this stage.”

North Korea today agreed to Cabinet-level talks with South Korea to discuss international fears over its nuclear programme.

North Korea today accused the United States of plotting a war against it, and vowed that it would fight “to the last man”.

DESPITE hints by North Korea that it might withdraw from the global nuclear nonproliferation treaty, South Korea yesterday said dialogue is the only viable way to resolve the dispute peacefully.

The United States, Britain and the wider international community has been urged to prevent North Korea from building up its nuclear weapons capability after the communist nation began actively restarting its nuclear programme.

SOUTH KOREA’s president yesterday said his nation would never tolerate North Korea’s efforts to develop nuclear weapons, as the communist nation began moving fresh fuel rods to a mothballed nuclear reactor.

South Korea will never tolerate its rogue neighbour’s efforts to develop nuclear weapons, President Kim Dae-jung said today.

RULING party candidate Roh Moo-hyun won South Korea’s presidential election yesterday, a result that could complicate ties with the US as the allies grapple with North Korea’s nuclear programme.

FEARS of North Korean nuclear ambitions could determine South Korea’s presidential election today , with one main candidate advocating a tough line on the North, while his rival espouses a more conciliatory approach.

North Korea is willing to talk about concerns over its nuclear weapons programme, South Korean officials said today.

Inter-Korean talks began in sombre mood today, with South Korea demanding that North Korea should scrap its nuclear weapons programme.

South Korean President Kim Dae-jung has said he will seek support for a project to create an “iron silk road” connecting the divided Korean peninsula with Europe by rail when he meets Asian and European leaders next week.

Riding on a wave of popularity created by South Korea’s performance in the World Cup, the head of the country’s Football Association today announced he is to run for presidential office.

SOLDIERS and anti-disaster officials in South Korea yesterday began clearing up after the most powerful typhoon to hit the country in 40 years left at least 47 people dead and 33 missing in flash floods and landslides.