The Egyptian Enchantment. A Lottie Lipton Adventure by Dan Metcalf (Bloomsbury, €6.40)

First-time novelist Morrissey has won the most unwanted prize in writing, a bad-sex-in-fiction award.

3/5

Check out our guide to the best of tonight's TV.

An Asiatic black bear, who was rescued from a farm in southeast Asia, has taken to walking like a human after its ordeal.

USA: Walt Disney World must rehire three performers who were fired when they refused to wear soiled Spandex unitards as part of their costumes for the “Festival of the Lion King” show, an arbitrator ruled.

Age: 33

AFTER that first flush of romance, gifts on Valentine’s Day can go downhill, but nobody wants a droopy service station rose or card from the bargain bin.

Woody Allen’s recent run of amiable comedies comes to an abrupt halt with Blue Jasmine (15), which stars Cate Blanchett as the very blue — as in, deeply depressed — eponymous heroine.

Although it ultimately lacks the courage of its twisted convictions, ‘Prisoners’ is a provocative thriller about a father who takes justice into his own hands when his little girl is abducted at Thanksgiving.

This House is Haunted

There’s no faulting the ambition of JJ Abrams’ Star Trek Into Darkness (12A).

ACTRESS Charlie Murphy says “I would love to reach a stage when I never worried where the next job is coming from, but I don’t know if that will ever happen”.

Former goalkeeper Bruno, once tipped for a place in Brazil’s World Cup squad, has been sentenced to 22 years and three months in prison for the murder of his ex-lover.

The Kingmaker’s Daughter

Natalie Cassidy has reunited with her violent ex-fiance.

An Irish mathematician has helped crack complex codes about our immune system which may ultimately lead to better treatments for Crohn’s, coeliac disease, diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis.

The Decision

Natalie Cassidy's fiancé has been arrested and charged with assault after allegedly attacking the star on Sunday night.

A woman has reclaimed the skeleton of a distant relative after she found it was being held in a university display case, 189 years after being executed.

Denise Van Outen launched an online rant against EastEnders star Natalie Cassidy today after being stung by jibes about returning to work early as a new mother.

Eliza Doolittle is a huge Radiohead fan.

A STAR goalkeeper in Brazil is accused of ordering the murder of his ex-lover whose body parts were then fed to the dogs.

Lacey Turner has dreams of taking to the stage.

Carey Mulligan is set to play Eliza Doolittle in the remake of ‘My Fair Lady’.

AN appeal has been made in Limerick for help in finding a missing parrot who speaks only Polish.

Keira Knightley has been tipped to star in a new version of 'My Fair Lady'.

Actress Anna Friel has added her name to the list of actresses competing to portray Wonder Woman on the big screen.

TIGHTLY holding the hand of little Eliza, this woman could easily be mistaken for her grandmother.

MORE than 1,000 people attended a special prayer service in Listowel, Co Kerry, for a missing local businessman, John Kennelly, 47, who has not been seen for more than three weeks.

Keira Knightley has been ruled out of a film or theatre part in cockney classic My Fair Lady, after acclaimed director Trevor Nunn insisted he was perfectly happy with his present leading ladies.

THE enticing tones of Marilyn Monroe entertained the crowds gathered on the Band Lawn at the Fáilte Ireland Dublin Horse Show yesterday with ‘Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend’.

Ethics campaigners today criticised a 66-year-old Romanian academic for becoming the world’s oldest woman to give birth.

Amazing as it sounds, Britney Spears has set her sights on Broadway and is considering the role of Eliza Doolittle in a revival of My Fair Lady.

THE Moore family from Leicestershire may sound like your average British family: dad’s a car salesman who loves the Osbournes and his teenage son is a keen DJ.