Diary of a Gen Z student: Here's how to get out of a second date with a guy who doesn't deserve it

Jane Cowan is a student in Trinity College Dublin, where she is in her second year, studying English.

I think we’ve all found ourselves in the precarious position of needing to let someone down easy. There’s nothing easy about it, however. 

Sure, you might not want to hurt the other person. But what are you supposed to do when the proverbial ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ thing, fails? Not to sound self-righteous, but it’s usually not me. 

I’m sorry, but when a boy wears socks and sandals, I think I would be justified in saying "It’s not me, it’s you, and those bloody Birkenstocks" - now that could be a cliché I’d get behind. 

I tend to keep those comments to myself, though. Why kick a guy when he’s already down? Rejection is enough; there’s no need to insult his footwear while I’m at it. That’s just cruel. 

I’m sure some girl will like the whole socks and Birkenstocks combo. But I am also sure that I am not that girl. I’m a good person, but Birkenstocks simply do not deserve a second date.

So, if you’ve ever been stuck for an excuse to get out of a second date, let me help you out. I am by no means qualified to be dishing out this type of advice. 

I am however a 20-year-old girl, and I think that must count for something. With that in mind, heed my advice at your own risk. The Irish Examiner is not liable for the collapse of your love life, etc.

Firstly, getting the other person (the one in the Birkenstocks) to reject you, is usually a good option. There are numerous routes you can take to achieve this. 

Boys in college run a mile at the first mention of commitment. They tend to experience a minor stroke at the thought of seeing someone, being exclusive, or being in a full-blown relationship (God forbid). 

If you ask someone to be your boyfriend after that first nightmarish date, you might be lucky and scare them into rejecting you. 

But this approach comes with an element of risk. He might be happy, say yes to being your boyfriend, and then you’ve got a much bigger issue on your hands. 

So, if you want to scare all that is holy out of a boy, you will want to tell him about your desire to have nine children before 35. 

I can guarantee that your yearning to birth and raise a small army, will either force him to reject you or send him into a coma. 

Either way, problem solved. You can move on with your life, one pair of Birkenstocks lighter.

Or maybe you’re not willing to be rejected, whether you orchestrated it or not. Fair enough. You want the order of things to be overtly clear. Let’s not get anything twisted: you rejected him. 

For you, a classic ‘ghosting’ may suffice. It gets the job done, though it may not be the most mature way of getting out of a second date. 

Look, I’m not here to judge. Sometimes a girl has got to do what she has got to do – simple as. There are a few steps to take in achieving a successful ghosting. 

You must block them on Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn, Gmail, WhatsApp. Leave no stone unturned. 

A well-executed ghosting demands that you are thorough. Failure to do so may result in an email six months down the line, asking where it all went wrong. 

Precisely the conversation you aimed to avoid by ghosting him in the first place. Moving house is also helpful, though user discretion is advised. Ghosting is a classic; try adding it to your rejection rotation.

I know what you’re thinking – whatever happened to good, old-fashioned honesty? It hasn’t gone anywhere. You can always just tell someone how you feel. 

If coma induction and ghosting aren’t your styles, a strong dose of honesty, in the form of a rejection text, maybe in order. I know girls that keep a rejection text drafted, ready to be sent at a moment’s notice. This is a decent approach – efficient, yet respectful. 

Something like "I think you’re a great guy, but I’ve got a lot going on right now, between going to college and making dinner. All the best", will propel you to living your desired single life.

Rejecting someone is never going to be a simple task. In the face of it, these eejit-proof tips might just save you from having to sit through a migraine-inducing second date. Give one a go, next time you find yourself in dire straits. Desperate times, as they say...