Ask Audrey: 'I'm from Cork but my boss tried to get me to sing a Limerick song for the rugby'

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

C’mere, what’s the story with Zombie? My boss at work is a real nob now like, he doesn’t even have a Cork accent even though he’s only from Bishopstown. He do be fierce into the rugby, always talking about his kids playing in some place called Highfield, I never heard of them they mustn’t be any good. Anyway, he called me in to the office just there and said, Dowcha Donie, I’d like to introduce you to the finer things in life, here are two tickets for Ireland v Scotland in Paris next week, flights included, I’ll need a selfie of you in the ground in case you sell the tickets and go baloobas on the beer. There goes that plan, but a weekend in Paris, how bad? Then he says, you have to learn the song Zombie by The Cranberries because that’s what all the fans do sing now at Ireland matches. Doesn’t he bring it up on Spotify there and then and make me sing it along with him. This is a gross infringement of my rights as a Cork person, been forced to sing a song by a band from Limerick. Seriously, did you see the way the Irish line-out collapsed against South Africa – the crowd should have been singing ‘Where’s me Jumper?’ So, do you think I could get money from an employment tribunal because my boss tried to get me to sing a song from Limerick?
— Dowcha Donie, Blackpool

Ah let Limerick have something. It can’t be easy coming from a city that is famous for boiled ham.