Listen — Ask Audrey: Would you leave Ballintemple for 10 grand?

Will Pres kick me out of the alumni union for calling blackberries 'blackas?'

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

It’s getting back to normal on our WhatsApp group, Douglas Road Stunners Who Wear Luxury Gym Gear at the School Gate to Show that We Don’t Need to Work. Ten minutes after we dropped our little Saoirse and Fachtnas into school yesterday (we give them Irish names in case Sinn Féin gets into power), we were at our favourite table in Mee-Mees in Douglas. Mee-Mees is an invisible café off the Douglas Road, it doesn’t show-up on Google maps to keep out the Ballinlough types like yourself Audrey, no offence. 

Mee-Mees was rocking as you can imagine, because it doesn’t matter how much you love your kids, it’s just horrible being around them. Fifi_ICanStopAnyTime produced a snakey hip-flask of vodka and we were langers by 11. It happened again yesterday, I was a bit off my tits picking the kids up at 2, but so were all the other stunners, Ciara_CognacLover brought the wrong child home and everything. God, we had a great laugh about it on our 7 o’clock WhatsApp And Wine hookup after a long day being Douglas Road Stunners. My Ken said I might have a problem and I said, “Ya, it’s you My Ken, ya dryballs”, so no speaky there at the moment.