Ask Audrey: Marbs is going to be terrific this year without all the oligarchs

Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

C’mere what’s the story with banning the goading of Man United fans? All the crack is gone out of it for Liverpool fans like myself. Like, you wouldn’t do this to a dog. The mate, Budgie, he’s Man U from the age of 4 and he told me in total confidence that he is after a bad bout of the old erectile dysfunction after the latest run of results, culminating in the derby match last weekend. He’s so sick of watching the post-match analysis, he is after getting this recurring dream where Roy Keane is sitting in a chair at the end of his bed telling him that his room is a disgrace and that he needs to shape up or at the very least buy a few of them plastic organiser boxes when they come back into Aldis. I said, Budgie boy, in the spirit of friendship I won’t mention Liverpool’s pursuit of silverware on four fronts, and I will do all in my power to curb the slagging of Man U fans, going forward. I’m writing a charity song called Ye Are the Sad Ones Now – could you give it an old plug? 

- Dowcha Donie, Blackpool.