Ask Audrey: Is a thermal vest fetish weird, even for Abbeyfeale?

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

It’s very Gucci on our WhatsApp group, Douglas Road Stunners Who Haven’t Slept for 3 Nights. Fifi_ElectricBMW said I’ve been forcing tears out through the Botox all week babes, after hearing about the masks for 9 year olds - what kind of beast would make a child wear a mask all day, in full knowledge that her classmates will be trying to figure out how much it cost? I mean, you know the way kids are. Clara_Bulgari said her Ken wanted to send their Maxi in with a 5 pack of masks from Aldi to show solidarity with the lower orders in her class and now, she, Clara, has only one question – does anyone know a good divorce lawyer, because My Ken seems happy for people to think that their Maxi is from Ballinlough!? Laura_PrincessOfYoga said she felt really sorry for her Roxy heading off to school this morning, because she’s sitting next to a guy from Carrigaline. Ok, that was bit off topic, but fair play to Laura for having the courage to say it. Anyway, Audrey, where can I get a small facemask that just screams ‘my parents are millionaires’? Jenni, Douglas Road.

I rang the Posh Cousin and said, what’s the best way to show off your wealth with a facemask? She said, don’t wear one – the rules are for little people.