Ask Audrey: We wouldn’t dream of going on Viber because that’s for people in Glanmire

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

Hello, it’s Bernard here, yer man from Dundalk. I have a girlfriend now in Cork and didn’t she say to me that she’d get fierce turned on if could wear one of them pink velvet jackets that yer man Daniel Craig wore at the premiere for the Bond movie. I have me suspicions that this is a prank, where we’ll go out and Patrick Street will be lined with people going ‘look at yer man from Dundalk’. So me question is, are Cork people open-minded when it comes to a bloke in a pink velvet blazer? Bernard, Dundalk.

I rang my friend Fast Fashion FiFi and said, what’s the definition of an avant-garde bloke in Cork? She said, someone who wears the Cork goalie jersey in town when there isn’t a match. #NotParis