I rang my friend Fast Fashion FiFi and said, what’s the definition of an avant-garde bloke in Cork? She said, someone who wears the Cork goalie jersey in town when there isn’t a match. #NotParis
It’s the question on everyone’s 15-grand lips here in Ballinlough. My niece is forever on her phone – I said, what did you do when Facebook went down on Monday? She said, I felt sorry for old people. #HarshButTrue
My Conor’s brother is a movie buff. He’s actually other kinds of buff as well, I won’t go into any details. I said, is there anything to stop the next Bond being from Ballydesmond? He said, I can’t see them doing it in a foreign language.
I rang the Posh Cousin there and said, were you ever put off by a guy’s wealth. She said, just once. I said, what happened? She said, he didn’t have any. #ZeroKerching