Author Mary Beth Keane: 'Don't sell your idea to others'

This Much I Know: The New York based author on becoming a writer, being a working mum, and the new global Ireland

Sat, 20 Mar, 2021 - 08:00

My father is from Connemara and my mother is from Mayo. I grew up in New York but we go back and forth a lot. I’m the oldest of three sisters and have lots of cousins, so it was a busy household. A lot of my aunts and uncles also emigrated, so half of my family is here and half in Ireland. It makes it feel much closer. It’s been tough during lockdown though, especially when my uncle died [in Ireland] about a month ago. It makes it difficult.

I moved away from home for several years and moved back when my second son was born to the house next door to the one I grew up in. My husband’s parents are Irish too so we bring our kids to visit a lot. The nice thing about this new global Ireland though is that my cousins will come here now too. When we were younger we only ever went there but now they’ll come here and have a weekend of shopping in New York, they love it.

I think I was born to be a writer. My first memories are of imaginary friends, so I’ve been making up characters and storylines since basically when I could speak. I’ve also been writing since I was little. I remember writing as much as I could and then when I couldn’t catch up with my thoughts I’d have my mother write it and read it out to me and I’d have her change things. She wasn’t all that interested in doing it but I remember feeling frustrated that I couldn't physically write as fast as I wanted to.

I studied English literature in college. I think I benefited from being the oldest in my family. My parents gave me total freedom. I took out a loan to go to college and they helped pay for it too but they kind of said: “It’s your life, you have to support yourself. We’re not going to make you do something more practical”.

I think they really didn’t know how little a person makes in publishing and writing when they start out though. Had they known that maybe they would have steered me to something more practical. It was to my benefit that they didn't really know about the American education system and what it did and didn’t promise.

I think the biggest challenge was clearing a path for writing when I had young children and very little income and I felt like I wasn’t helping my husband support us. We weren’t a family that had financial support from other people. I knew that writing couldn't just be a notion or a hobby for me. If I’m paying a babysitter $16 an hour then I damn well better make something of that time.

It felt irresponsible to some degree but at the same time, I knew I wasn’t interested in writing commercial fiction. I wasn’t writing for the paycheck, I wanted to be an artist. It was a hard couple of years where I felt like I had to fight for my space and keep my eye on the prize, all while there were children crying and bills to be paid. I’ve been broke. It’s terrifying and I don’t want to be there again. Everything is going well right now but there’s no dependability in a job like this, there’s no retirement plan.

My two boys are my proudest achievement. They’re 12 and 10. It’s such a cliché but they’re smart, empathetic, curious, little people. I think I’d like them even if I didn’t birth them.

I’d like to be remembered for saying something true in my writing that people can identify with. The way I am as a person is what comes through in my writing. I listen closely and I can usually understand the nuances of what people are feeling, even when they contradict themselves. I think so much of our lives is a performance to some extent. We’re performing the role of mother, wife, friend, neighbour, writer. It’s kind of a form of clothes-switching. But I think there’s a current underneath all of those things that’s more true and I think I’m pretty good at identifying that current in other people. It’s something I’m always trying to get at in my writing.

People describe their book ideas to me a lot. In general, my advice is don’t talk about the thing you want to do. It applies more widely than just writing fiction. Don’t sell your idea to others. An idea is an idea. All ideas are good, just do it. Less talk more doing. Look at some of the books out there that would have sounded like terrible ideas but ended up being beautiful pieces of writing.

The best advice I’ve ever gotten was that you can’t control other people. You can only control yourself, your own reactions, your own responses, your own life. It’s something I have to remind myself of a lot.