Colman Noctor: Music helps teens hit the right note within themselves and with others
Music still matters in adolescence, even if its role is less visible than in previous generations.
Before we begin, I often ask a simple question: “What are you listening to?”
This is not a throwaway line — it is an attempt to open a conversation, which sometimes sparks enthusiasm, other times a shrug, but nearly always it tells me something about how they are feeling that day.
When I was growing up, bedroom walls were covered in posters of favourite singers, shelves were stacked with CDs, ticket stubs were tucked into mirrors, and band names were written on school bags. Music wasn’t just something we consumed; it said something about who we were. It signalled identity, belonging, and sometimes rebellion.
That outward expression has largely disappeared. The posters are gone, and CDs have been replaced by streaming platforms and short-form video.
Music used to be something teenagers listened to and sometimes created together. It was social and collaborative. I was in a band for a brief period as a teenager, and we learned songs together and spent weekends rehearsing in sheds or spare rooms.
In the 1990s, groups such as Oasis, Take That, and the Spice Girls regularly dominated the charts. Analysis of the British charts shows that since the late 2000s, groups have accounted for fewer than one in five No 1 singles, while solo artists now dominate, taking close to 90% of top spots.
In this solo-artist culture, young people are more likely to aspire to become content creators with a laptop than to join a band with friends. Technology has made music production more accessible, but it has also made it more solitary, and this trend will only intensify with the rise of AI-generated music.
We have also shifted from an album culture to a song culture. Previous generations experienced music as a body of work. Albums told stories. Teenagers listened from start to finish, memorised track listings, and connected emotionally with entire records.
Modern music consumption is different. Songs are often detached from albums and consumed in fragments via playlists, algorithms, and social media trends. This can be seen in sport, too, where children are now more likely to follow players like Messi and Ronaldo rather than teams.
With TikTok often their social media platform of choice, many young people encounter music in 15-second clips before they ever hear a full song. Some songs become globally famous because of a catchy section tied to a dance trend or meme. For some teenagers, music is no longer something they actively seek out but something that exists in the background of video content.
A 2022 study from the University of Madrid found music plays a central role in adolescents’ identity development and emotional expression.
However, teenagers now experience music very differently. Where music discovery once flowed through friends and radio plays, it now moves through algorithms that learn our tastes and bombard us with similar offerings.
While algorithms make music discovery effortless, I would be concerned they narrow our horizons by feeding us more of what we already like and less music that might surprise, challenge, or connect us beyond our usual tastes.
Young people can experience strong feelings without always having the language or skills to process them. Even if it’s only listening to short clips, music can help bridge that gap. It provides a kind of emotional shorthand.
Teenagers often tell me how they use music in very intentional ways. Some listen to calm themselves when they feel anxious. Others turn to certain songs when they feel low, not to deepen their sadness, but to feel understood. This makes sense, as many people find comfort in hearing their emotions reflected back to them by someone else, which helps them feel less alone.
This is an important point for parents who may believe the adage that ‘misery loves company’, and worry when teenagers listen to sad music, it makes them even sadder. However, the reverse might be true. Many of the young people I speak to say they use sad music as a tool for emotional regulation, particularly when coping with stress, anger and sadness, as it creates a relatability that helps them feel less alone.
Growing evidence supports music-based interventions within mental health services. A 2015 Irish study of music groups within Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services found positive outcomes linked to emotional expression, engagement, and social connection.
Most teenagers grapple with difficult psychological questions: Who am I? Where do I belong? Am I understood? Musical taste allows adolescents to safely explore the answers. One week, they may identify with introspective indie music; the next, with the confidence of dance music, or the intensity of rap. These shifts are not superficial. They are rehearsals for adulthood.
Parents sometimes dismiss teenagers’ musical preferences as phases or fads, yet adolescence itself is a period of experimentation. Music offers a relatively safe arena for exploring identity. I would suggest parents approach their teenagers’ musical tastes with curiosity rather than criticism.
Instead of saying, “What is this awful noise?”, try asking, “What do you like about this song?” or “How does this music make you feel?”. Teenagers are often more comfortable discussing emotions indirectly through music than through direct questions.
Of course, there are concerns too. The constant availability of music and video content means some teenagers rarely experience silence or stillness. In which case, music can become a means of avoidance rather than regulation. If every uncomfortable emotion is drowned out by headphones or scrolling, teenagers may miss opportunities to develop internal coping skills.
These concerns aside, musical identity is important and has enduring effects. Often, musical preferences formed in adolescence remain remarkably stable throughout adulthood. The songs teenagers connect with now may remain emotionally significant for the rest of their lives.
Ultimately, music matters to adolescents because it creates emotional relatability and a sense of belonging. Even though the culture around music has changed, from bands to solo artists, from albums to playlists and from listening to scrolling, the psychological need remains the same.
So when a young person walks into my therapy room, takes off their headphones, and I ask what they’re listening to, I’m not just making small talk. I’m asking about something that may be helping them cope, connect, or understand themselves a little better.
And sometimes, in those brief conversations about songs or artists, you catch a glimpse of what might otherwise remain unspoken, which can only be a good thing.
- Dr Colman Noctor is a child psychotherapist
CONNECT WITH US TODAY
Be the first to know the latest news and updates
