Julie Jay: My vigilant little boy could have a future as a health and safety officer

A stickler for the rules, very little gets past my eagle-eyed offspring, and I have the wounded ego to prove it

“Mammy, you must clean up the floor because JJ is only a baby.” Thank God Ted reminds me of this fact on the daily before I accidentally apply for JJ’s J1 visa and ship him off to drink cans in San Diego for the summer.

BACK in the noughties, before Gordon Ramsay told us rat droppings in kitchens were a bad thing, we were wandering around munching on overpriced paninis with zero concern as to whether or not the ham had been stored at the correct temperature.

I found myself working part-time in a cafe, which prided itself on its chicken fillet baguettes.