Joanna Fortune: My 14-year-old daughter wants to hang out with boyfriend in her bedroom

"It sounds as though you have not had a conversation with your daughter about the boundaries of having a boyfriend visit her at home - taking a paradoxical approach might help..."

Pic: iStock

My 14-year-old daughter is dating a boy two years older than her. They are constantly texting each other or on the phone. They meet about once a week — it’s usually at the movies or for a pizza. Last week she said they needed some privacy and asked if they could hang out in her bedroom. I said no as she could get pregnant. She got very upset, saying I didn’t trust her and that all her friends were allowed to bring their boyfriends to their rooms. She has hardly spoken to me since. Did I make the right decision?

The defence, ‘all my friends are allowed to’, starts in early childhood but amplifies in adolescence. You are the one parenting your child so whatever her friends are (or are not) allowed to do has no relevance in your home. So, yes, you were perfectly within your rights to say no and to hold a boundary.