Joanna Fortune: My toddler refuses to use the potty
The potty: not for everybody
Wait. I think you need to listen to him and hear him as he communicates with you that he is not yet ready. If you rush this, you will hit a wall of resistance and the process will be all the harder.
Leave it for another month or so and try again. It is never ideal when an external need, such as pre-school start date, is deciding how and when you do this.
I appreciate the pressure you are feeling but let’s try to get it done in a calm, successful way. Is he showing you signs that he is ready to do this, for example, holding his wee for longer periods of time or telling you when he has gone in his pull-up (these are handy in getting him used to pulling pants up/down ahead of potty training)?
Has he expressed curiosity about the toilet or shown interest in sitting on it? Are you giving him opportunities to build independence so you can praise his efforts? For example, you ask him to dispose of his pull-up, put his pyjamas under his pillow and pick toys up from the floor.
Consider that the potty may not suit him. A potty isn’t for everyone, especially taller children for whom sitting on a potty means the wee might splash back onto their skin or feel the poop against their bum.
Try using the toilet with a step-ladder child seat. This will ensure he is sitting comfortably and safely with no fear of falling in while his feet are properly supported to make it a comfortable experience for him.
Sing a nice rhythmic song while he sits as this will help him stay seated for the two minutes or so it takes and the rhythm and synchrony will help him to relax.
You can also increase his sensory messy play as this is developmentally appropriate for him at this stage and will support his sensory attunement to his body. Think of activities involving Play-Doh, finger painting, and sensory basins (a bowl with water, a squirt of washing up liquid, a teaspoon of cinnamon/ginger/curry and let him mix it all up so that he produces bubbles, enjoys the smell and then washes his dinos, cars etc).
Potty training is not something that he will do by himself, you are there to help, support and celebrate his efforts. You need time and patience and perhaps even perseverance with this.
Let him know that you will help him and there are so many fun things he gets to do in pre-school when he can do this for himself.
ience and perhaps even perseverance with this. Let him know that you will help him and there are so many fun things he gets to do in pre-school when he can do this for himself.
Books to consider: by Taro Gomi and (interactive sound) by Scarlett Wing
- If you have a question for child psychotherapist Joanna Fortune, please send it to parenting@examiner.ie
CONNECT WITH US TODAY
Be the first to know the latest news and updates
