Leslie Dowdall on why it's never too late for romance

Former In Tua Nua frontwoman Leslie Dowdall leads a fulfilling life teaching music, touring around the country and hillwalking, and has recently found love again. At 65, she says she has never felt so energised

Singer Leslie Dowdall is speaking about love and romance in later life at Bealtaine Festival. Picture: Garry O’Neill

Once the frontwoman of acclaimed 1980s Celtic trad/rock band In Tua Nua, Leslie Dowdall now teaches music and lives an active life in rural Wicklow.

That life has been the stuff of dreams: Recording albums, touring the world, and performing with rockstar royalty like U2, Bob Dylan, Fleetwood Mac, and Simple Minds.

These days, she spends her time gigging and passing on her love of music, enjoying the company of friends, and walking in the hills of Glenmalure.

At 65, she’s also embarking on a new romance. “I have met somebody. I’ve known him for a long time, and it’s actually very nice.”

She’s enjoying the early days of the relationship. “I always said, if I meet another man, he has to be kind, have a sense of humour, a sense of himself. He has to be able to drive and have a talent I admire. And I’ve found that.”

“Where I am in my life, companionship in a relationship is so important. It’s about having somebody there at the end of the day with a cup of tea or just to sit on the sofa with.”

Dowdall wasn’t looking for love after the break-up of her 16-year marriage to Spaniard Enrique Alda Delgado.

“Someone once said to me, ‘You can’t enter someone else’s garden until you have your own garden intact. And if you don’t have it together by the age of 60, then you might as well forget it. But I say to anyone looking for love: Never give up hope. It’s never too late.”

Acceptance in a relationship is critical to her. “You get to the stage of your life where you want someone to get you, to understand who you are, what you’re about. And they’re content to let you shine.”

Dowdall is speaking at Bealtaine Festival — at an event that celebrates art and ageing — about finding love and intimacy in later life. Joining a panel discussion titled ‘Not Dead Yet: Love, Intimacy, Dating in Later Life’ with writer and performer Rory O’Neil (aka Panti Bliss) and neuroscientist Sabina Brennan, the singer will chat about the emotional, social, and cultural dimensions of romantic relationships in later life.

I got married at 48. I wasn’t rushing into that one, either. It was never on top of my list. In fact, getting married was probably the end of my list.

“My father used to say he couldn’t give me away in a lucky bag. But then, at 48, it seemed like a good time to get married. And now I’m not married. And guess what? I’m OK.”

There’s a worldly wisdom inherent in Dowdall, coupled with a straight-talking pragmatism. And though she has experienced serious health challenges, she continues to have an optimistic and matter-of-fact approach to any obstacles.

In 1993, she was diagnosed with kidney cancer, which was successfully treated, and in 2020, she was in a serious car accident that left her with multiple broken bones in her wrist, curtailing her ability to play music for a time, and putting an end to another one of her beloved activities – horse riding.

“These days I keep myself fit by walking the Wicklow hills, and I have a huge interest in horticulture, which is great for my mental wellbeing.”

Singer/ Songwriter, Leslie Dowdall, Greenan, Co Wicklow. Phorograph: Garry O'Neill.

Dowdall is proud of her independence. “I’m a homeowner, I have my own car, I have my own job. I’m totally independent. I go where I like, do what I like. I think back to our mothers, having to either wait for a man to give them money or be reliant on somebody; it must have been horrendous to have so little control over their lives. That freedom we enjoy now is the best thing that’s ever happened.”

While she wasn’t rushing into a new relationship, Dowdall believes that everyone “deserves to be happy”.

“I’m amazed at the number of people in loveless marriages. And I understand that people stay together for children, but, you know, it doesn’t always work out, and I think it’s better to be in a loving relationship.”

For Dowdall, the foundations of a loving relationship are “common interests, friendship, and communication. Communication is so important”.

Dating apps are no substitute for meeting people, Dowdall says. “I see some of my friends trying online dating. I remember one day my friend was scrolling on Tinder. And I thought, ‘This is scary, this is not the way to go’. I told her to join a club, and she did. She met a guy.

“You’ll find the right person if you’re open to it. And you have to be out in the world.”

Today, she continues to enjoy a career in music. Along with teaching young people in Music Generation Wicklow, part of a national education programme, she has teamed up with actor and singer Flo McSweeney for Natural Women, a show that pays homage to their icons, Carole King and Linda Ronstadt. Dowdall and McSweeney, who have been friends for decades, are touring the country performing the American songsters’ classics.

“Flo and I, we’re now in our 60s, and we’re out doing this thing, and really enjoying it. It’s brilliant. We’re looking at each other on stage, and we’re thinking, ‘We should have done this years ago'.”

With a new romance, a job she loves, and an ongoing career in music, Dowdall appears to have found the key to a contented life. “ I have more energy than most 30-year-olds I meet,” she says.

“It’s the simple things, really. I’m still involved in music, I have a great group of friends, I live in a beautiful part of the world, and I’m happy with myself.”

I know people stay together for children, but it’s better to be in a loving relationship