Richard Hogan: Here are my four top tips for better living for 2024

Dare to disturb your universe - you have to push yourself to see what you're capable of.

Richard Hogan. Photograph Moya Nolan

We're four days into the year. The trail of sulphur still hanging off us, for all the new habits we want to bring into our lives over this new year. But as the days march on, that sulphur, all that early energy can start to wane as we slip back into old habits.

By mid-January we can feel more hopeless than ever as we have lost all that early impetuous, and we start to think that we are doomed repeating patterns of behaviour we know are not that good or healthy for us. Good or bad habits take time to form, and they take time to break.

When we are attempting to change, it is important to realise that in any endeavour of breaking behaviour cycles, there will inevitably be moments of repeating old habits.

I think that is where people get stuck. They have a bad day, they slip back into familiar, comfortable habits, and then feel utterly hopeless or even despairing.

Those feelings feed negative behaviours, because when we feel bad or low, we have a higher potential to fall back on default negative behaviours. But once you know that, you are less likely to fall back for good. You have a bad day, that’s all it is: A bad day!

When you think like that, you are on the road to a more sustained healthier life.

So, here are my four top tips for better living this year.

Be kind to yourself

I work with so many incredible people and I hear such compassionate talk for others in my clinic, but often people struggle to be compassionate with themselves.

We can be so hard on ourselves. I ask my clients if they can say out loud, what they say to themselves and I’m often shocked by the levels of negativity and self-judgement they are living with.

If we had a little more compassion for ourselves, and celebrated our successes and failures a bit better, I think we would enjoy the year ahead.

Dare disturb your universe

To truly thrive in life, I believe, you have to push yourself to see what you are capable of. In my experience, people get caught living safe lives that they start to resent because they know they are not pushing themselves or reaching for what it is they really desire. They have a fear of failure and that prevents them from changing direction, or attempting to bring something new into their life. When we live like this, we are not fully reaching our potential. And that can be the seeds of negative self-talk.

So, this year, reach for what it is you have always desired or wanted to bring into your life. That takes courage. Be bold and resolute. If you don’t achieve whatever it is you desire, do not view it as failure, but a learning moment.

Less time on technology

I think we all need this one. Technology has enveloped our lives, but if we had a better policy in the house, I think we would have more harmony in our lives.

Keep the bedroom a technology-free zone. Read before sleep and do not allow technology to be the last thing you check before sleep and the first thing you look at when you wake up. I have found this very helpful for my levels of energy.

I read before sleep and I do not check my phone first thing in the morning. In fact, I consciously try not to check my phone before 8am. This allows me to look out the window of the train as I commute into work. This is like mediation. I have always loved watching the moving landscape on a train.

Technology stopped that for a while, but I got it back. We all need to make sure we have a healthier relationship with our devices.

Do more of what makes you feel good

One of the great things about getting older, is that we are more in touch with ourselves. We should know what we like and what we don’t like, what makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad. 

One of the simplest things I say to clients when working with them about achieving more happiness in life, I start by asking them; what makes you feel bad.

Often they outline things like, being a “yes” person, not speaking up, drinking, being cynical, expecting nothing good to happen.

I get them to make the list of those things that negatively impact on their levels of happiness. And then I say: “We are going to avoid these things over the next two weeks and see where we are then.” It is such a simple task. But highly effective.

People often struggle to know what happiness would look like, but we all know what makes us feel crap. Avoiding that is a very good starting point this year.

There is a huge industry out there, trying to get you to buy into new-year resolutions. And they want you to fail; the less happy you are the more you buy stuff you don’t need.

We fail, because our goals are often too big or too lofty. This can make us feel hopeless.

But if you were kinder to yourself, and dared to reach for what it is you know you would like to achieve, and spent less time on technology and more time plugged into the wonder of this world, and did more of what makes you feel good, and less of what makes you feel low, I think your life would be dramatically improved, and wouldn’t cost you a fortune. 

Happy new year.