Sex File: Help! I need a few glasses of wine before sex 

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I'm in my early 40s and I've recently given up drinking. I realise now that I would often have a few glasses of wine before sex with my husband. It would relax me. Now that I'm teetotal, I seem to be less confident in the bedroom and find it difficult to get in the mood.

Many people begin using alcohol as a crutch because they suffer from anxiety or have low self-esteem, and in moderation, it works. It's very easy to get used to only having sex after a glass or two of wine if you're a couple who tend to have sex in the evening before bed. The disinhibitory effects of a small quantity of alcohol can be wonderful - but not if it becomes essential for your enjoyment.