Sex File: Come again? The ins and outs of multiple orgasms

"Your first serious relationship is an opportunity to enjoy all that sex has to offer, but there is so much to discover about each other's likes and dislikes that trying to become multi-orgasmic seems like an unnecessary focus"

Mon, 19 Apr, 2021 - 06:00

Suzi Godson

I am a 25-year-old woman and I'm in my first serious relationship. I have read a lot about multiple orgasms, but do they really happen?

The term "multiple orgasm" refers to several sexual climaxes that occur in quick succession. The important thing to note is that the first orgasm is nearly always the most powerful, and they tend to decline in intensity with each one.

While film studios might like to perpetuate the myth that women are pretty much relentlessly ecstatic and on the brink of climax throughout intercourse, the reality of multiple orgasms is different. In fact - and I'm sorry to be the bearer of boring news - a multiple orgasm is highly unlikely to happen during intercourse, and the truth is that a high proportion of women struggle to have a single climax during penetrative sex.

A study of 2,049 women aged 18 to 70 carried out in 2015 by Professor Osmo Kontula at the Population Research Institute in Helsinki found that only 50% of women usually experience an orgasm during sex, compared with 90% of men. The study also found that only 12% of women are able to have more than one orgasm during intercourse.

However, what is interesting, and shows that the level of effort put into lovemaking can really make a difference, is the study's finding that the more frequently women receive oral or manual stimulation from their partners, the more often they climax.

So, multiple orgasms are unlikely but not impossible, and if you are determined to try to experience them with your partner, non-penetrative clitoral stimulation will increase your chances.

If you are curious about multiple orgasms, you could start by exploring the possibilities yourself, before you try with your boyfriend. Buy yourself a really good sonic vibrator. I would recommend the Womanizer or the Lelo Sona. Rather than vibrations, the sonic airwaves pulse, and they can bring on very powerful orgasms within minutes.

Bring yourself to orgasm, but before the sensation entirely subsides, carry on stimulating yourself. If you can't have a second orgasm, don't worry - some women feel too sensitive to touch themselves after the first orgasm and, although sonic vibrators are gentler, overstimulation can be uncomfortable, so listen to your body. Other women experience a refractory period and during that time sexual stimulation just doesn't produce any feelings of excitement.

Your first serious relationship is an opportunity to enjoy all that sex has to offer, but there is so much to discover about each other's likes and dislikes that trying to become multi-orgasmic seems like an unnecessary focus - there are no prizes for trying every position in the Kama Sutra, nor for finding the elusive G-spot, which I am also often asked about.

On this subject, I remind women that countless studies confirm that there is no specific structure associated with orgasm inside the vagina, but because the front wall of the vagina has an abundance of nerve endings, in some women pressing or pulsing the anterior wall (about 5cm in) increases arousal. This is because the pressure is inadvertently applied to the Skene's glands and the internal clitoral bulbs, which are located on either side of the vaginal wall.

G-spots and multiple orgasms are all fun things to explore as part of your sex life but make sure that they are not your only focus. While so many women are not having orgasms even once during sex with a male partner, it might be worth spending more time appreciating the possibilities right in front of you.