Learner Dad: A 20km limit would allow us to broaden our horizons with a trip to Kinsale

We did McDonald's and a bunch of other things to make up for a cancelled birthday party that our son didn’t want anyway

A view of the Marina and Yacht Club in Kinsale, Co Cork. Picture Dan Linehan

I’m glad our son decided he didn’t really want ‘a party’ for his birthday last week. (Happy birthday you magic little man.)

The ‘party’ is one that’s evolved during lockdown, where you bring a few party bags to the playground and hand them out to the birthday boy or girl’s friends once they’ve finished running around shooting each other with Nerf guns. It doesn’t involve any meet-ups that wouldn’t have happened anyway, it’s just the usual crowd of kids and parents that head to the playground across the road from the school for an hour after pick-up. 

I’ve been at one or two of these events for other kids and it's lovely the way they all react to a few minutes break from ‘we’re not allowed to do that.’ It’s also good for your ears because it doesn’t involve the noise pollution at indoor play centres, where kids on sugar bounce each other off the walls.

We were all set to bring a few party bags to the park for our birthday boy, until the weather forecast popped up and reminded us that it’s still March and we still live in Ireland. There was no way it was going to work. 

My wife was worried that we had promised him a party and you know the way it is with six-year-olds and promises. Anyway, no need to worry. He woke up aged seven on his birthday morning and calmly said he didn’t mind a party cancellation, as long as he could go to McDonald's after school. 

Picture: iStock 

I think he felt the party thing was a bit naff. He’s a stickler for things being just so – a half-party is no party at all. He’s also an outrageously good negotiator. (I’m actually afraid of him.) So the upshot is we did McDonald's and a bunch of other things to make up for a party that he didn’t want anyway.

So why am I glad that he decided against the playground bash? Probably because I wouldn’t have found it comfortable myself. I’ve run out of things to say to parents after what feels like 70 squillion months of lockdown.

It was different at the start when we could talk about the novelty of it all and agree that Tiger King on Netflix was the best show of all time, even if looking back now it seems like total rubbish. Once the novelty wore off, there were two topics that would keep us going in the playground. The first was what are you watching on TV, and don’t say Tiger King ? The second was where are you getting your takeaway this weekend?

I know way t oo much about the weekend eating habits of other parents. I’d normally leave the playground gnawing on my fist with a savage dose of the munchies. But there aren’t any new takeaways opening up, so there isn’t much more to say.

I blame the 5km rule. It’s hard to find new things to talk about when you’re literally treading the same old ground every weekend, within 5km of your home. They still haven’t revealed what will happen to the 5km limit next week, but as I write they’re hinting at a slight easing.

Raising it to 20km would allow us to broaden our horizons with a trip to Kinsale or Crosshaven. (Nothing can match the good vibes that follow a blast of sea air on your face.) The big change will be if and when they allow travel within your own county. (Particularly if you live in Cork, which as we know, has it all.) 

We could meet up with some long-lost friends and their kids, who are besties with ours. We could pack the car on a Saturday morning and head to Glengarriff or Gougane Barra for the day. This would give us a relaxing hour each way, driving through the country, sometimes singing songs. (Dad’s not allowed join in, which suits all of us.) It would remind us there is an abundance of good things out there. and it would give us something to talk about when we got back.