Dream analysis: I've written a list of the men I've slept with over the years

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I've written a list of the men I've slept with over the years. For some reason, I show it to a colleague who I know is hypercritical and often complains about others loudly. I try to pull it away from her when I realise my mistake. But it's too late: she's seen what I've written. I'm angry with myself and deeply embarrassed.

Our unconscious Shadow appears in dreams as a person of the same sex, here a female colleague. The values it embodies are often imbued with feelings of guilt, and we feel we’ll be rejected by others and horribly exposed if they come to light. Hence, the apparent drama of the dream.

Our Shadow also contains good qualities, normal instincts and creative impulses we’ve jettisoned in order to adapt to the expectations of our parents, teachers and society growing up.

The dreamer is being asked to look at her hypercritical attitude towards the list of men she has slept with, and whether her embarrassment and anger at herself are justified. Were all of those sexual encounters a mistake? Truthfully, how does the adult you feel about them?

My guess is that when you integrate your Shadow and consciously take your place in life as a whole person, there’ll be nothing to be embarrassed or angry about.

I was at the second wedding of a female friend who looked happy. My husband hadn’t come to the wedding, so I took a seat next to a married man who was very handsome and charming. He wanted me to drink a large glass of straight gin. I declined. It started to rain - I ran for shelter and came across my own young children and our dogs, playing. I decided to stay with them and have fun in the rain. Later, I saw myself and my husband trying to organise a second wedding for ourselves, but with Covid we couldn't get a booking. We went to a church but the atmosphere was very sombre like a funeral. We were all quiet. I felt a bit sad and confused at the end of the dream.

This woman’s husband is absent at a second wedding. She sits beside a handsome, charming man who offers her straight gin. She runs for shelter and has fun with her young children and dogs. She and her husband try to organise a second wedding, but the atmosphere is sombre like a funeral. The feeling in the dream is sad and confused.

The dream is about renewing her marriage, which is not being helped by Covid. Her faithfulness and responsibility towards her family are evident, but she and her husband are all quiet. While she’s capable of playing like a child with her dogs and her children, her absent husband needs to join her in that fun space, assuming he’s capable. 

It’s her husband who should be offering her a metaphoric gin to relax and enjoy a day out, ensuring her continued happiness.

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