Book review: Tragicomedy with a very unsettling narrative

Tanya Sweeney is a journalist and a regular contributor on Irish radio and TV. Picture: Ruth Medjber

• Esther is Now Following You 
• Tanya Sweeney 
• Penguin, €15.99

This is the debut novel from Irish writer Tanya Sweeney. Inspired by her work in film, music, and TV, as well as her experience as a columnist for a number of magazines and newspapers, her debut has been described as “ Baby Reindeer but from the stalker’s perspective”.

Quite a deceiving read at the outset, with numerous entertaining and witty moments, Esther is Now Following You very quickly descends into a disconcerting tale of obsession, expertly depicting the fragility of the human mind.

Dublin-born Esther moved to London with little thought given to what she wanted to do. 

All she knew was that she had to get away from her chaotic home situation and make a fresh start. She soon settled into life in the fast lane, met Johnny, fell in love, and married.

For the first couple of years they were blissfully happy playing house and building a nest for themselves.

But they struggled at the next step and the joy of parenthood eluded them.

The mundanity of life, the stress and pressure of the daily grind took its toll, leaving Esther feeling like something had shifted in the relationship — “We are pals whose toes occasionally touch in bed.”

When tragedy strikes, Esther struggles to cope. She falls into a depression, stays locked up at home, binge watches TV shows, and keeps her distance from all concerned. 

One day she ventures to a nearby park and, very briefly, crosses paths with a stranger. 

For inexplicable reasons, she feels drawn to his familiar face and, with a little bit of research, she discovers that he is Canadian actor, Ted Levy.

Esther’s world has imploded. Her mental health is suffering. She has pushed away all who are close to her and disengaged from her life. 

During this time she finds solace following the trajectory of Ted Levy’s career. She gathers up any online snippets available, imagining another scenario where she is in a relationship with him. 

What begins as a low-level crush slowly creeps over into an obsession.

Packing her bags, Esther books a ticket to Canada, convinced that when Ted meets her, he will feel the same way about her. 

With delusional and obsessive behaviour, Esther becomes a fully-fledged stalker fantasising about an alternative existence with Ted.

She joins an online forum alongside other Ted Levy obsessives becoming part of the Tedettes. 

The Tedettes, as a whole, are malicious in their online comments, all misguided in their belief that they are the only ones who really know Ted Levy. 

Trolling on multiple social media platforms becomes their raison d’être and the cruelty of their actions, and their justification of said behaviour, is quite shocking.

Esther’s warm and witty personality soon morphs into something disturbing. The closer she gets to Ted Levy, the easier she finds it to justify her obsession.

As a reader, I found it quite difficult to pigeon-hole my feelings about Esther, as they were so polarised. 

I had great empathy for her, but I was also extremely uncomfortable seeing how she justified all her fantasies and reasoning.

Sweeney has written a tragicomedy with a very unsettling narrative. Esther’s story is very affecting with some truly heartrending scenes. 

Her rationalising of her own actions is quite stark and disquieting yet also very poignant and bittersweet, all underlined with a quiet sadness.

Esther is Now Following You is not a light and fluffy read as the cover might suggest. 

Yes, it has plenty of humour, but this is a very dark tale highlighting the tragedy of mental health struggles and the toxic side of celebrity fandom.