That's Cork sorted now ...
Your cousin sounds like my Uncle Cornelius - we call him Con Spiracy. I rang him there and said, do you trust China? He said, who’s this? I said, your niece Audrey. He said, tell me something only Audrey would know. I said, a lot of Italian men are circumcised. He said, hi girl, how can I help you? (He’s been having trouble with the KGB. Again.)
I rang the northside there and said, c’mere, what do think of Reggie’s offer? The guy said, make it 15k and you have a deal. I said, is that Blarney? He said, no girl, it’s the truth. #BoomBoom
My nephew is so posh we call him Shane Ross. I said, what did going to a fee-paying school give you? He said, a sense of entitlement and toddal American accent dude.
My friend is a complete deviant, she’s from Dungarvan. #Explanation. I said, do ye have Zorgies? She said, welcome to my Friday night. I said, what’s an online orgy like in West Waterford? She said, it’s not quite the same. I said, what’s missing? She said, the smell of Lynx Africa. #Sex-ay.
My cousin became a poet because he wanted to get off with women half his age. I said, could you write a poem on this? He said, Stay Alert, Stay Alert, Boris is off out, chasing skirt, making speeches, all a rant, I’m a poet, give me a grant. #Catchy.